Alive Again (English Version)

20.Dare To Love Me

20.

I don't wanna give up hope
Damn, why's it gotta be this hard just to open my heart?
[...]
If you dare to love me
(Avril Lavigne-Dare To Love Me)

Raven was taking a shower when the doorbell rang. She snorted. She didn't know who it could be. Anya was at Lexa's, Octavia was with Lincoln and she didn't have to meet anyone. The doorbell kept ringing insistently and Raven had no choice. She turned off the water and got out of the shower. She dried herself out and dressed in a hurry, rather annoyed. The morning shower was a sacred moment for her and she hoped that whoever was had serious reasons to interrupt it.

"I know, just a moment!" she snapped, running to the door. She opened, not knowing what to expect. When she saw Clarke in front of her, she almost fainted.

"Hi Rae." the blonde began, a bit nervous.

"If you're looking for Anya, she's at Lexa's." Raven informed her, sure that the blonde had made a mistake.

"Rae, I'm not here for Anya. I... I need to talk to you.". The Latina was speechless, utterly shocked. "I don't want to argue, it's a promise.". Raven rubbed her neck, undecided on what to do. She had dreamed of that moment for three years, but now that it had come she was panicking. She sighed. In front of her, Clarke was staring at her, full of hope.

"Okay, come in." she finally gave in. The blonde nodded and crossed the threshold, her hands clasped around the strap of the purse on her shoulder. She looked nervous, almost intimidated. The truth was that she feared Raven might change her mind at any moment. She looked around, without saying a word. She hadn't set foot in that house in three years.

"I thought you threw it away." she finally said, pointing to a framed photograph hanging on the wall. Raven ran a hand through her hair and took it from the wall. It portrayed the two actresses as little girls, with Abby and Jake Griffin.

"I could never have done such a thing." Raven explained. "You're my only family, Clarke.". The blonde bowed her head, a lump in her throat. She stepped back, leaning against the back of the large white couch that stood in the living room. Clarke smiled bitterly. That couch had been a silent witness of memorable evenings with Raven and Octavia, spent watching movies, reviewing scripts or, more simply, chatting with each other. The blonde shook her head. Realizing how much she missed those moments was worse than a stab in her chest. She and Raven had met when they were both twelve. Abby was still working in Polis, in the ER. When she had found herself in front of that tiny girl all skin and bones and full of bruises, she hadn't thought twice and had decided to take Raven home with her. At first, Jake had been a little reluctant, but then had ended up giving in. Clarke remembered that day perfectly. A very strong bond was born between Raven and her and the two had soon become inseparable. Jake's death had helped cement what had turned out to be an incredible friendship. When they had been both scripted for Arkadia , it had seemed like a dream come true to them. Within a few years, however, everything had changed. The dream had turned into a nightmare and Raven had decided to cut ties with the Griffin family, for Clarke's sake. Not that the blonde wanted to see her again. Because of Raven's words, Clarke and Lexa had found themselves literally haunted by paparazzi and journalists of all kinds. For months, speculation about their alleged relationship were on every newspaper, website, television program and social network. And if Lexa had managed to downplay and play it cool, Clarke couldn't make it. Abby and Octavia had seen her succumb to anxiety and pain, and if it wasn't for them, who knows how it would have ended.