I'm Okay

Answers (33)

*Parker's POV*
I held the letter with shaking hands. I didn't know what it had in store for me but I knew I didn't want to wait any longer.

Without thinking anything else about it I tore it open and saw a folded piece of paper.  I unfolded it and read the words anxiously.

Hey Parks.. I'm not dead.. haven't been for a while. Don't know when or if you'll find this, but If you do listen to me please. I know you probably hate me right now but just talk to me one more time please? If not for me.. for whoever you have in your life right now. I know finding my grave like that must've hurt you and I don't think you're okay. I don't think they do either. I miss you.. you have no idea how much I want to be with you right now, but this is the way it has to be until you come back to the cemetery. You'll understand one day. I love you forever and always.. ~ Rubies (if you do wanna talk call this number to reach me 726-905-301)

Heh.. that's a lot.. like a lot to take in. She's not dead. "What?" Gavin asked.

"she's alive.. Rubi is alive.. my sister is fucking alive Gavin. She wants me to call her." I panicked shoving the letter in his hands to refrain from tearing it to pieces.

"Are you going to do it?" He asked. "I don't know. It's not fair. She gets to put me through all this shit, just to talk to her again. It hurts Gavin she hurt me. I'm hurting." I admitted before tears made themselves present in my eyes once more.

Gavin didn't say anything. He just hugged me.

"Knowing everything you've told me about Rubi we both know she wouldn't have done it without reason Parks.." He stated with a sigh.

"Gavin what fucking reason would she have for putting me through this? I'm not only hurting myself but everyone around me!" I ranted as I pulled apart from the hug not allowing Gavin to speak.

"When I snapped at Mom and uncle Finn on the bus I didn't want to do anything but cry. They didn't deserve that and I made them feel like ass. I'm fucking messed up Gavin. She messed me up all over again. It was going good and I fucking ruined it." I continued before sinking to the floor with my back to the door.

"Parker what do you think your family's opinion is of you right now?" Gavin asked astonished at my words.

"Probably that I'm some stupid emotionally damaged traumatized kid that they regret adopting." I admitted wiping my face off.

"Parks that couldn't be more wrong." Gavin stated bluntly chuckling in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" I asked out of confusion.

"P I know that especially with a background like yours it can be really hard to believe that you've found your forever family, but I really don't believe that those people on the other side of that door plan on tossing you out again. They love you." He told me.

"Gav-" I started before he cut me off.

"Listen when you were sleeping I went to the living room and talked to Billie. They're all here because they care about you Parker. Not because they want their last moments with you before they ship you off again. I promise." He said before holding out his pinky.

"You're sure?" I asked hesitantly.

"100%" he told me with a smile as I interlocked my pinky with his.

"Looks like I have to decide if I want to call a dead girl." I said before laughing a bit.

*Time skip*
I then went out there and told my family what had happened. They were all supportive of whatever decision I chose to make.

I did make it clear though that I didn't want to be alone when I called.

If I stepped out of the room after initiating the call then leave me alone for a minute but I didn't want to be alone when I first made the phone call. They all seemed pretty understanding of that as well.

I took a few minutes to myself, just sitting out on the balcony of our hotel room looking out into the distance.

I watched as the people below conversed and moved on with their daily lives. I wondered what it would be like had my life been normal.

I'd always imagined that If I was to have a normal childhood, we'd have daisies planted out in the yard because those were mommy's favorite.

We'd have a dog and a white picket fence. I'd go to a school where I wasn't afraid to talk to people, or be myself because I didn't have to worry about my rotten 'step siblings' ratting me out.

I didn't have to worry about making myself fit in their boxes so they didn't throw me out again. I could be me. For real. No fear, no yelling, no fighting, no smashing of sports cars.. no lost rubi..

I had decided that I had been sitting too long. I wiped my face then got up and stretched before walking into the room I was staying in.

I grabbed the letter, and began digging in my duffle bag to find my phone at the bottom of it. I wasn't surprised when I found my phone dead. After all I hadn't touched it in quite a while.

I plugged my phone in then went to the kitchen to get a bottle of water out of the fridge. Uncle Finneas and Claudia were in there with me and it seemed as if they'd just finished making food.

"Hi.." I mumbled. I figured the only way to try and pick myself up and fix things is to talk to my family.

"Hey." Finneas said taking a step closer to me with a gentle smile on his face. "How are you?" He asked carefully.

"I honestly don't know." I responded with a slight shrug before continuing, " I know I don't want to feel this pain anymore though. I'm tired, and I don't want to feel like this. I can't stand it anymore. I want to fix it." I sighed looking between the both of them.

"Okay. Let's fix it." Finneas replied. "Do you want me to go get your parents?" He asked.

"No.. not yet I want to start small. I came in here to apologize for my behavior and the way I acted towards you it wasn't fair to you and I'm very sorry." I told the both of them.

"Parker with everything that's going on right now, and everything you've been through your reaction was very warranted and and your feelings are valid." Claudia spoke with a soft caring smile.

"Though you did worry us quite a bit we were never mad or disappointed in your behavior." Finneas continued. I hugged them both as tight as I could.

"I love you guys. I love you guys so much." I told them with a slight smile before releasing them from the hug.

"I'm going to talk to my parents now." I said as i walked out of the room and went to go knock on my parents door.

"Hey Parks come on in." I heard momma say. I opened the door and immediately hugged her.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I told her with tears now present in my eyes.

"Hey, hey hey what's going on in here?" Billie asked sounding concerned walking in from the bathroom of their hotel room.

"I'm not quite sure." Fallon responded to her wife with the same amount of concern laced in her voice.

"I just wanted to apologize for everything and how i've been acting. It's unacceptable and i don't think that i'm okay with myself and i want to get professional help maybe a therapist or something after this if that's okay?" I explained pulling away from them.

"Yes absolutely we can get you a therapist." Fallon responded with a smile. "Parker I was actually meaning to talk to you about that, so with everything that's been going on your momma and I were wondering if maybe you wanted to go home for a bit? Y'know be with the family sleep in your own bed again?" Billie considered.

"I want to stay on tour with you guys. We go home in a week for a break before the last leg anyway so i'll be okay." I replied.

"Alright, as long as you're sure precious." Fallon said before placing a loving kiss on my forehead.

"We love you and we will always be here for you." Billie continued with a smile before they said their goodbyes and went back to what they were doing.

Time to go call my sister i guess..