smother. [h.s.]

14. impulsivity

Five String Serenade - Mazzy Star

cw description of wounds/blood

The van is a wreck. 

The big hunk of metal screeches and groans as I come to a slow in the student parking lot. The rear window is shattered, and tiny fragments of glass litter the back seats. I get out of the car to assess the damage, feeling how the engine practically sighs from exhaustion as I pull the keys out of the ignition. 

The yellow exterior of the van is scraped as if it was keyed repeatedly. Multiple bullet holes dot the outside of the car, and the back bumper hangs off on one end. 

"If Ivan wasn't going to kill you before," I glance at Harry beside me, "I think he's definitely going to now."

"Us," he corrects, "kill us." 

The other side of the bumper creaks loudly and then falls completely off of the van with a thud. 

"Perfect," I mutter. 

Harry bends down to inspect the bullet holes. He feels at the edges of the bent sheet metal, then stands back up to open the trunk. He pulls out a heavy, black duffle bag and sets off towards the dorms. 

"Wait up," I huff as I try to catch up with him, car keys in hand. 

Harry doesn't show any signs of slowing down. 

"Shouldn't we call someone? Like, the cops or at least Ivan's car insurance?" 

"No." He shakes his head and keeps his gaze ahead. "Won't do any good. I'll take care of it."

"You'll take care of it?" I shake my head in bewilderment. "Harry— we just got shot at! We could have..." I motion with my hands as the words escape me. "We could have died." 

"I know."

"How are you so okay with this?"

He stops his fast stride and turns back to me abruptly. I continue to move forward and almost bump into him from the sudden change of pace.

"I'm not." His jaw flexes in tension. "I said, I'll take care of it. Just go home, Shalom. You're safe, what more do you want?"

I recoil a little at his words. My hands fall from their place of animation in the air and I let out a breath that I've been holding. 

"Fine," I mumble and stuff my fists into my pockets. 

I keep my head down and maintain a good distance between us as we wordlessly walk back to West Hall. His steps are hurried and determined; mine are slow and defeated. The adrenaline of the chase has worn off, leaving me with nothing but exhaustion and fear of what's to come. 

Wintergreen has always been safe. That's a part of why my parents sent me here; they wanted me away from the violence and crime within the city. Here, where it's calm and secluded, shootings are rare occurrences— if they happen at all. Despite the relative quietness, we've still had a small handful of suicides, car accidents, and run-ins with local creeps over the years. 

Until today, though, I've never feared for my life, unless it was by my own doing, or in the backseat of a drunk friend's car. 

As we approach the building, I scan my surroundings nervously. No one's out; the campus is even quieter than it was earlier tonight. Despite knowing this, my heartbeat still rises uncontrollably every time I pass a dark corner, mistaking every other tree and lampost shadow for the figure of a man. 

I rub my eyes anxiously and let out a shaky breath. 

We make it to the dorms and start up the stairs to the third floor. We try to be as quiet as possible in order to avoid waking up any hall officers. I look up from my feet and stare at Harry in front of me as the stairwell lights automatically flicker on.