Super Screwup (ONC 2022)

Chapter 11 - The Plan

They were somewhere near Bora-Bora when they crashed the jet into the ocean. Vladimir sustained a small scratch on his forearm when they evacuated, but otherwise miraculously there were no injuries. Except, of course, for an unfortunate whale, who was one of the last living members of his extremely endangered species, and who decided to surface for air at the exact wrong moment and got splattered by the extremely expensive high-tech jet that fell unexpectedly out of the sky.

As fate would have it they were picked up by a passing fishing trawler within twenty minutes. Marvin ended up commandeering it by default when he attempted to give the captain a high five for rescuing them. The captain wasn't expecting it and got hammered in the face by Marvin's palm. The sheer momentum of the unintentional slap knocked the captain overboard and he bounced off the side of the ship a couple times before belly flopping into the ocean and then immediately getting eaten by a shark.

"Oops," Marvin said.

The remaining crew were terrified of this strange band of pirates that had invaded their boat and agreed to do whatever Marvin said. He couldn't resist making them crawl around on the floor and bark like dogs. Then he had them sing and dance the Macarena.

It took him a long time to get tired of that before he realized he should probably have them steer the ship to Dr. Magnus's island lair, which Meth Girl assured him wasn't too far away once she smoked some more meth and recharged her tracking powers.

It took about an hour before they neared a small unassuming island that wasn't listed on any charts. They had all brainstormed on the flight and had concluded that the best idea they had collectively come up with as far as plans of attack was "winging it."

Marvin made a spur of the moment decision that they should utilize the element of surprise, so rather than attempt a beach landing, he had the crew anchor the boat offshore so the team could jump in the water and swim stealthily and hopefully undetected to the island.

Unfortunately he miscalculated the distance and the strength of the current and it ended up taking them another hour and a half to reach land, whereupon he realized Ninja Frank had gotten lost and was swimming in the opposite direction, so he had to go back out and fetch him. Also it turned out Meth Girl didn't know how to swim at all and nearly drowned until Marvin gave her a ride on his back.

"Maybe we should have used one of those dinghies they had on board the boat," Steve suggested once everyone was finally on the beach and accounted for.

"They had dinghies on the boat?" Marvin asked.

"Yeah, like four of them," Steve said. "They were pretty big, too. We probably all could have fit in one of them. Probably would have saved a lot of time and effort."

"Huh," Marvin said. "That definitely would have been useful. Everybody looks exhausted. I propose we take a five minute breather and get our bearings."

"And look at the time," Steve said as he checked his watch. "4:20. Time to get our smoke on." He took his bong out of a little waterproof ziploc baggie he'd shoved in his jacket and lit up.

Meth Girl also took the opportunity to smoke some more meth. Partially to help them pinpoint Dr. Magnus, but mostly because she wanted to get really high on meth.

Ninja Frank sat cross legged on the sand and attempted some meditation exercises while Vladimir flopped himself on his back and gasped for breath.

Marvin hit the bong and then took a moment to survey the scene. They were on a sandy white beach with a jungle behind them. A small mountain rose up from the center of the vegetation. Out in the ocean, the fishing trawler was clearly visible and he came to the realization that he probably should have had them anchor it even further out.