Breaking

Drowning

I'm drowning but I don't want the life raft

I'd rather sink than float

My mind's a mess and it's hard to breathe

My thoughts are as shallow as my breaths

and i can't seem to make sense of what i'm even doing anymore

i miss being alone

there was no one to stay strong for

i could allow myself to slip and fall and no one would care

now i have to put on a brave face

make like i'm okay

i'm just too tired to speak

to answer questions

i'm afraid of what lies beyond them

i want to sink

but i can't

they drag me out of the water

push air into my lungs

and wonder why i cry instead of rejoicing.