Breaking

alone in a sea of people

do you ever feel like even when you're with people you're alone? part of me is missing, you stole it, and you wont give it back. i thought i was okay, i was feeling better, i even went out with a few friends. But then we went somewhere i hadn't gone since the first time we ever went out, on october 17th, 2013. Then I saw a pretty friend of yours you talked to that day who always made me feel a bit jealous and insecure, today was no exception. I went out looking like a male today, I recieved a lot of stares because of it, someone yelled at me for "being a fruit" another for being a " fucking little faggot". i shouldn't listen but I'm not used to this new form of abuse and i don't like it. I get anxiety because i don't know how to look masculine enough and here people are only enforcing that.  I wish I could tell you all this but you're over talking to  me. I'm sorry for every drop of pain i have ever caused you, please forgive me