Breaking

Never Thought I Could Be

I became the girl I never thought I could be

The one who cries into her pillow all night

Clutching her stomach

Trying to keep herself quiet

So she doesn't wake the rest of the house.

The girl that needed something to relate to

So she found depressing quotes on tumblr

So that she could feel some form of catharsis 

So that she wouldn't feel alone

Even if it was only for one night

I became the girl that was too afraid to take the plunge

But wanted, no, needed to feel something

Even if that something was only more pain

Because when it pierced her skin she felt real

I became the girl afraid to speak, but did so anyway

Even though when the conversation turned to her

She could only tell lies. 

You see I was always the girl who was afraid to lose others

To be a burden

For them to leave her

So I built a wall

A necessary precaution, you see.

But some people got over the wall

And they feasted

Before pillaging and destroying all they saw

Leaving her the girl that resides here now.

Sad and broken

Or maybe I've always been broken, 

and I just wasn't aware.