nineteen

3

Blue's POV

"Let's get outta here" the tall bleached blonde boy whispers to me, directing my attention back to his face. All the anxiety of seeing Kaiden that had melted away in his kiss started to build back up again after I snapped back into reality and witnessed that horrifying look of rage in Kaiden's eyes.

I nod. I don't know why, but I felt like I could trust this boy. I'd only known him for about 10 minutes but it was an instinctual feeling. The boy grabs my hand in his again and leads me back through the crowd and outside. I don't ask any questions, I just follow him, soaking in everything that just happened.

He leads me out the front, onto the quiet street outside. He walks beside me for a while in silence, then he takes a blunt out of his jean pocket and holds it up to his mouth, flicking his lighter, brow furrowed in concentration with one hand blocking the wind. He inhales deeply then passes it to me. I take a hit and he grins. I hand it back to him.

"You can call me Gus by the way" he mentions as we walk in the dark, his tattooed face partially illuminated by the dim street lights. I realise I never even knew his real name. I only knew him as Lil Peep until this very second. We pass the blunt between us back and forth, each taking hits.

"I'm sorry about before" I say, annoyed that Kaiden turned up to the party. He just smiles. "It's aight. I'm just happy to get to spend some time alone with you, you're cool" he replies.

Did he just call me cool? I start to think he's probably just being nice to try get in my pants. He's like...kinda famous i'm sure he gets plenty of girls. I'm not special.

It's freezing cold out, he pulls the hood of his sweatshirt over his pink beanie.

"You seemed scared when you saw him. I had to get you outta there" he says, and I can't help but find it endearing. "I'm sorry, I don't wanna drag you away from your party.." I start.

"Hey. I'd much rather chill with you anyway" he says calmly. All the sudden I start to feel a little hot and flushed. A wave of nausea and anxiety plague my body... oh fuck. I feel like i'm going to throw up but I didn't want to embarrass myself... I must have had too much to drink or this weed is super strong...

"You okay?" he asks, noticing my discomfort. Shit. Here it comes.

I try to hold it down but up it comes. Perfect. How embarrassing. I'm throwing up on the side of the street next to Lil fucking Peep.

He immediately kneels down next to my hunched body, holds my long hair back with one hand and rubs my back with the other. I'm so embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. This is so embarrassing, you shouldn't have to deal with this" I say, eyes watery looking back at him.

"It's fine Blue. Even seeing you puke I still think you're the hottest girl i've ever laid my eyes on" He chuckles. If he was only trying to get in my pants surely that would have turned him off completely... right?

"No fucking way" I reply, spitting once for good measure. I stand up and he supports my body with one hand. "Yes way"

We continue to walk down the cold dark street. I'm completely in my head about how embarrassed I was to have just thrown up in front of him literally ten minutes after kissing him.

That's when I feel his hand brush against mine a couple times. Then he laces his fingers in between mine and I smile to myself, hoping the dark of the night conceals it. I probably looked so goofy.

"Can I show you something?" He breaks the silence. His voice was so... attractive. "Sure" I reply.

He leads me across the road to a big football field. He helps me over the wire fence and leads me to the very middle of the big empty space of grass. We lay right in the middle of it while he lights a cigarette. I lay on my back and he rolls over to lean on his side, one hand supporting his head as he stares at me. He takes a deep inhale of his cigarette. "I like to step away and look at the stars when i'm feeling kinda anxious" he tells me. It was like he knew exactly what I needed at this exact point in time. Like he read my mind.

"How did you know I was feeling anxious?" I say and he just chuckled. "It's in your eyes" he says. I suddenly feel embarrassed again, but as if he read my mind once again, he said "don't worry. I get anxious a lot too" and calmed my nerves a bit. I roll over to my side to face him, mirroring his pose. "I wasn't always this way" I claim.

"What happened?" he asks me, concern in his big brown eyes. "Life just kinda dealt me a bad hand I guess" I explain. "How so?"

I stare at his face, wondering if I should bother getting into it right now. Something inside me was telling me to trust him. So I did.

"Uh my mother died when I was young and everything kinda went to shit since then. Me and my dad were close until she died and now he forgets I exist. Chooses drugs over me. Ended up with my ex, thought I could trust him but ended up beaten nearly every day. I was too lost and scared to leave for a long time. Now I guess I just feel like i'm alone. No one really cares about me and it's a shitty feeling" I say, pretty much telling him everything.

I was surprised I told him so much, I had issues trusting anyone after the way I had been treated over the years by everyone i've ever loved.

His eyes looked sad. He went quiet for a while. The silence scares me. "I care" he says. Then he pulls me into a tight hug, and doesn't let me go for what felt like forever. I started to cry silently because i'd not felt genuine affection like his in years. His arms felt so fucking safe and warm. I felt at home. I felt calm.

I felt...whole again.