Nevertheless - A Jenlisa Story

Chapter 7

I really am an idiot.

How could she think her behavior would not have consequences?

Lisa was shocked by the letter Jennie had written to her.
After reading it for the third time she lay down on the bed with her arms covering her face. How could she be so selfish?

She had decided that ignoring and not talking to each other would be the best decision, but for whom?
Lisa felt the full weight of her own selfishness collapse on her.
She had decided that it would be better this way without thinking about how Jennie would feel seeing such a radical change in her behavior.
She was so caught up in her fears and questions about her own feelings that she hadn't thought about the harm she was doing to Jennie in not giving her any explanation.

How could she behave that way with her?

Only now she was realizing it.

Suddenly all the moments of the past days in which she had decided to keep her distance appeared in Lisa's mind: at the beginning Jennie still tried to try to contact her but seeing Lisa's total refusal, in the end she always stood aside in silence.

She felt rejected by me.

The realization of what her behavior had generated in Jennie's mind made her heart ache.
She wanted to get out of bed, join her in her room, and tell her it wasn't her fault. Not her fault at all.
Lisa would have liked to tell her that the problem is her and only her, that it's all the fault of her head that for fear of losing her was really losing her.

She would have liked to run to her room and hug her and then fall asleep together like they did many other times.
Lisa was thinking of all the ways she could think of to apologize until she fell asleep with a tear running down her face.

---

The next morning Lisa felt like a different person.
She hadn't slept much but she wasn't going to let her fears take over anymore.
Jennie didn't deserve to be treated this way by her.
She was ready to suffer, she was ready to risk everything to make Jennie feel good again.
The knowledge of her feelings didn't and couldn't ruin everything.
She couldn't decide for both of them, not anymore.
She had to trust Jennie and stop running.

"Lisa here you are just in time. You have to give us your opinion: Chaeng is saying our best song is Lovesick Girls while I think it's Whistle, which one do you prefer? Jennie can't make up her mind."

Lisa wasn't expecting such a question without any context.
She paused as she leaned against the table and looked up to think.
After a moment of thought she laid her eyes on Jennie who was standing off to the side eating a waffle with fruit.

"Stay. My guess is Stay."

Jennie looked up at Lisa who hadn't stopped looking at her.

"Stay? Why?"

"Because it's the essence of all relationships: wanting to stay no matter what because you know it's worth it."

Their eyes were locked and this time Lisa didn't look away.
Her gaze was clear and sincere and she wanted Jennie to understand that it wasn't her fault, that she didn't want to run away anymore.
A small smile appeared on the brunette's lips as she lowered her gaze slightly in embarrassment.

"Wow Lisa great answer."

Lisa smiled openly at Rosé before heading over to the fridge to get her chocolate milk.

At 11 o'clock Oppa had a car arrive to pick them up.

They spent the time of the road laughing and joking excited to meet their fans after a long time.
As usual Jisoo and Rosé kept the conversation going while Lisa would occasionally turn her gaze to Jennie to make sure she was okay. It had been so long since she had done this...and it was only now that she realized how much she had missed her.
Jennie's gaze seemed to say the same thing, it had been so long since she had looked at her like that. Or maybe it had been so long since Lisa had seen her look at her like that.

They arrived at the venue an hour before the fans so they would have plenty of time to set up the table at the center of which they placed the box containing the bracelets they had prepared.

As the crowd began to form, Oppa had them positioned.

"Rosé, Jennie, Jisoo and Lisa. The rules are always the same don't make me repeat them every time."

The girls got ready and Jisoo kicked off the event with a megaphone in hand.

"Blinks! Seeing you here is very important to us and to thank you we decided to give you a gift: in this box there are some bracelets that we made. Choose the one you like the most. It's our little thank you for your support."

His words were greeted with applause and cheers of excitement.
The fans lined up and one by one they chose their bracelet and greeted their Idols with smiles and hugs.

The bracelets unfortunately proved not to be enough for everyone but the fan meeting turned out to be a success all the same.

"Next time let's make my favors too, I'm sorry that some of them left empty handed."

"Yes next time let's do those too but those who didn't get the bracelet got a picture with Lisa in a funny pose. I think they were happy anyway."

"Unnie I had to come up with something, didn't I?"

Lisa had a huge smile given all the affection she received that widened even more when she heard Jennie's voice.

"I think those who got the picture with Lisa were even happier than those who got a bracelet."

"All because they didn't see my party favors" Rosé pouted.

The other girls laughed and teased her affectionately while Rosé swore to herself that next time she would make hundreds.

They were all gone by now and the girls set about helping the staff set up the table before heading home.

"It went well, didn't it?"

Lisa's voice caught Jennie by surprise as she was picking up some wrappers on the floor.

"Huh? Oh yes it went very well, our Blinks are wonderful."

"Sometimes I think I don't deserve all their affection. I mean we sing and dance, how did we deserve all this love?"

"Some questions can't be answered, Lisa. It's just the way it is and should be accepted with gratitude."

Yep, a lot of questions don't have answers.

Lisa smiled warmly at her.

"I agree with you, Jennie."

Hearing her name spoken by Lisa, Jennie shuddered.