Men In Black - complete

Chapter 58

"So let me get this straight. You originally weren't Dean Harvelle, but an older version of myself that had it with the magical communities and decided to reincarnate for a fresh start?" said Harry slowly.

It was the summer vacation, and Dean had kidnapped Harry with his new 'pet' phoenix who he decided to call Suzaku if only to keep the confusion as to why there were now two versions of Dumbledore's phoenix hanging around. The newly renamed Suzaku was a bit peeved it took Dean this long to call on him.

Mort, when he figured out what was going on, had chosen to mock Dean for not remembering that phoenixes were more or less immortal. Suzaku had merely chosen to fake his death for an extended holiday of sorts.

Dean shuddered.

"After the war, I thought things would get better. I even married Ginny. But instead they only got worse. It was like the world closed in and there was no escape. As if that wasn't bad enough, I found out Ginny cheated on me repeatedly after the first kid...and I'm still not sure they were mine. I left a trust vault for each of them, and washed my hands clean when I was reborn as Dean Harvelle. Best decision I ever made," said Dean.

Harry looked slightly disturbed by the revelation of marrying Ginny.

"Why Ginny?"

"Partly because everyone and their grandmother seemed to expect it, and as I later found out, she was dosing me with potions."

Harry shuddered.

"She is why I told you that you should never date a fan girl. Frankly if I can avoid the same fate I ended up with, then this whole mess will be entirely worth it. Besides, who would want someone they consider their baby brother to marry a girl who greatly resembled their mother?" said Dean.

If Harry didn't look ill before, he did now.

"Dear Loki, that sounds almost as bad as that Wincest crap," said Sam.

"Anyway, where to first? No offense, but there's no way I'm sticking in England, and we could use a break from the States," said Dean.

"Um..."

"Speak up kiddo. We're leaving the vacation plans up to you, since Dean got to pick last time and Sam's idea of fun is history," said Loki grinning.

"How about the Great Barrier Reef?" asked Harry hopefully.

"Right, sharks, sun and surf, here we come!" said Loki cheerfully.

"What about passports?" asked Harry.

"Harry, Harry, Harry...if we couldn't forge a fake passport and put the information in the database without getting caught, then we don't deserve a vacation," said Dean smirking.

"Besides, the only reason we would even need a passport would be if we got into trouble. Interesting fact...magical Europe only convicts people who commit crimes using magic. If you used mundane means then they can't come after you," said Loki grinning.

"That is messed up."

"Useful though. If things happen like they did before, there's a Ministry 'Toad' who is going to be in for a nasty shock...or a not-so-subtle warning."

"Do I want to know?"

"The Ministry didn't believe you when you said Voldemort was back. Send this annoying as hell woman we called Umbitch or the Toad who liked to use Blood Quills on students. If she does come and I catch her with those damn things, I'll either shoot her or do something equally unpleasant the muggle way. Either that or we sick Loki on her ass," said Dean.

"Blood quills are highly illegal artifacts only used in the highest level contracts. Gringotts uses them for wills, among other things. Use on a minor for anything less than official documents is illegal and worth a minimum of ten years in Azkaban. Owning one is worth a heavy fine of twenty-five hundred galleons unless you're an approve member of Gringotts or a law firm," recited Sam.