Slowburn

Chapter 77

         It's always been true that after Renzo and I have amazing sex there is that pause between us, after we've both come from the bathroom, and the question lingers. In the beginning his abrupt exits were shocking and hurtful, but now we have this lingering commitment between us that I feel Renzo hasn't really thought about yet. 

We were certainly under duress when Renzo promised himself to me. I had just been found after the shoot out and he told me he didn't like the feeling of possibly losing me. He also spewed some other things about boyfriends and Grace, which I didn't fully understand, but the main thing to come from that conversation was that we agreed to see only each other for sex...but does that mean sleepovers are included? 

He never technically said that, so here I was again outside my bathroom with that silent pause he and I have often shared after sex.

I didn't want to be the one to bring it up because I always find a way to go too far and scare him off with my nagging for commitments. I was going to let him bring it up if he even does at all. When Renzo's sexy body bent down for an article of clothes my gut clenched in anticipation. 

        "What?" He finally asked me. I don't mean to wear my emotions on my sleeve, but he catches me every time and reads me well. "I feel as though...um, it's nothing" I smiled and tried for genuine. Instead I picked up a sleep shirt and started to dress. 

When warm hands came to my bare waist I couldn't help the smile that was forming. "You're wondering if I'm gonna bail huh?" I'd say it was quite obvious, but I'm glad he didn't make me say it out loud.

I pulled my shirt all the way on and looked at the blue gaze already settled on me. 

"Well, we never discussed anything beyond the fact that we will only have sex with each other. Everytime I assume I end up feeling silly with how wrong I misjudge-" I didn't get to finish my nervous rant before he pulled me flush against him. "Kat, shut up and get in bed."

A sharp thrill surged through me. He's going to stay. I couldn't fight the silly grin on my lips even if I tried, and I could see his own amusement when he saw mine. The best feeling in the world is when a man as devastatingly handsome as Renzo wraps his arms around you. 

        I won't lie and act like I don't still have that small voice in the back of my head that whispers for me to remember that these are arms of a dangerous man. A man who's probably gotten into his fair share of physical altercations like the ones I've seen before with the pervert and with Val. That whisper, that voice of reason, asks me if these hands that glide down my body in a soft caress have any kind of blood on them. 

I shake the thought away. I don't want to listen to that little voice. There are plenty of things I haven't faced yet, and I know it's an avoidance tactic against myself, but I can't help it. I finally have what I want. Renzo.

He's told me more than once that there are two separate worlds, and I wonder if I can separate the two as skillfully as he does. Should I only acknowledge the half of him that worries for me and lays here right now with me, or do I acknowledge the other half. The side that is a shade too dark.

        "Keep poking this sexy ass too hard against me and I'm gonna end up having you again tonight" his deep voice dragged me from my thoughts, and made me realize my tense thoughts had made my back stiffer, and therefore my butt much closer to his groin. "Sorry" I whispered, moving away slightly, but not very far seeing as his hand stopped me. 

"I didn't say remove it" he pulled me against him again. I chuckled and shook my head. Renzo spooning me is something I didn't honestly think I would experience again, but it makes me happier than I feel comfortable admitting to myself. I should probably sleep and stop overthinking.