Slowburn

Chapter 110

       Today I realized there is no 'right time' to get back to your job after you take a human life. You just have to show up. So...I showed up. I took a shower, I put on clothes, I ate a meal, and then I went to work. Normal.

Something had been running through my mind all day, and it was what Dante said about 'showing' Renzo that I love him, but in a way Renzo would understand. Actions, not words, he said. 

And Renzo had actually said that too when he kissed me after my love confession. So was the kiss a confession?! I told Renzo I didn't believe he could do the other part of all this, and he hasn't yet. He's always stuck on the physical. 

 But I can't tell someone how to tell me how they feel. They need to express it in the way they feel they can. I decided I wanted to start over. Scrap my first confession and do it Renzo's way.

        An idea came to me while I was working. I was almost too bashful to go through with it, but honestly with all we've been through should I even feel the least bit sheepish about anything, ever. It started with a text. 

*Me: Hey, are you coming to the club at any point tonight?* I didn't have to wait very long for a response. *Renzo: Already here.* My gut flipped and a rush surged through me. Oh boy. 

*Me: Are you near the monitors?* I asked next. The other day when I was trying to 'stay away' from Renzo I had asked Raquel if Renzo was in his office. When she said yes I ended up remembering that Renzo had a camera in here. That he could SEE me if he wanted to. My idea stemmed from that. *Renzo: Yes. Why?*

        I stood up and walked to the door to my office. I made sure to look right at the camera when I clicked the lock shut. *Renzo: What are you up to?* He was impatient when I walked back to my desk. *Me: I'm showing you words and actions can go hand in hand* I told him, then I made sure to look at the camera when I stuck my hand down my pants. 

*Me: Tell me what you'd do to me if I didn't just lock you out of this office? Where would you put your hands?* I teased him with a slow start. My eyes were only ever off the camera when I was reading his text messages, the rest of the time I was sure to stare into that black lens and its blinking red dot. 

*Renzo: First of all, I would kick that fucking door down, but okay, I'll play it your way for now* he told me. Why do I find that incredibly hot?

        *Renzo: You're the one who likes words. How about you tell me...where would you want my hands, Kat?* Again a thrill shot through me. Hm I can do words. Plenty of words. I started to type. *Me: Oh but you like actions...so how about you look at the camera and I'll show you* I felt so scandalous and risque. My goodness. 

I waited a few seconds to be sure he read my message and looked. I have no way of knowing if he did because I can't see him. He can only see me. Words and actions. 

I slowly descended my body with my right hand and slid it back into my pants. I had elastic band type fabric pants so that part was easy. I started to move my hand between my legs and look at the camera. 

I saw my phone screen light up. It's laying flat on the desk in front of me. With my left hand I unlocked it. *Renzo: Shit* was his first message, but quickly after that a second text followed. *Renzo: Tell me what you're doing baby. Use your words.*

        *Me: I started thinking about how long it's been since I touched you and I started to get wet...so I stuck my hand between my legs and pulled my panties aside. I felt myself Renzo, and I am wet* I told him. It's thrilling not to be able to see him for some reason. I feel so watched but it's fun.