she
she was hard to love
she had the worst social skills
whenever we walked she would always stay behind me, i felt like i was walking alone
i always had to look back to see if she was following
she didnt keep up, despite being back, she wouldn't adjust to my pace
i always had to check it she was still there
holding her hand sucked, the height difference would hurt me. my hand was always awkward.
she wasnt careful around me either. she didnt know that her weight would hurt me. her slight movements could hurt me unknowingly.
she had no spacial awareness nor basic human consideration. it was hard being with someone with a twisted conscience. i was convinced she's a sociopath. her actions in public was unacceptable, even tho ive told her not to do things, she would still do it.
she never knew how to read the atmosphere. most of the time it was only me talking. she claimed that she liked listening, but every moment of the day she looked at her phone. she had all the excuses in the world.
she had no consideration for my feelings. we had different morals and understanding. she has low emotional quotient which is why a lot of times my feelings are dismissed because she cant adjust to it.
she was manipulative. of course i knew. everyone is toxic in their own way, i was just hoping that she would realize it someday.
she could not love. i always felt like i just forced her into our relationship and should have the gratitude because she let me. she couldnt love me the way i wanted, nor could she express her love in any other forms but sex. tho she had made it clear that she was not attracted to me sexually, but touching me every moment she can. i felt like shit.
she was hard to love
but i did
i loved her with every fiber of my being.
i gave her everything i could
every ounce of love and understanding, i gave it to her.
now i just want someone to love me the same way i loved her so much despite being so hard to love.
