Buds of Despair

16. Broken

Broken

Noctis was sitting in the dark room, it took a moment for her eyes to adjust, he was sitting in a chair slumped over on the table with his head resting on his arms, she wondered how long he had been up like this. "Is there anything I can do for you?" she was drying her hair with a towel, she just took a shower, she set down a glass of water in front of him.

He threw the cup against the wall "I'm not thirsty and don't touch me!" he pulled his hand away as she had reached for it. "your going to use your tranquilizing effects on me again, it's not fair Isabella you can't control someone like that! How can I trust you not to just put me down every time you think I should be?" 

She hadn't even realized as she stood up and stepped back from him, she took away his freedom of choice. She didn't want him to see her bloody scene so she had just basically knocked him out.

"I'm sorry, I won't touch you!" she held her hands behind her back "I was selfish I panicked! I didn't want you to see what I had done. I was so angry ...but when you opened your eyes I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't let you see it and think badly of me because after I came back to myself even I couldn't look around the room. I'm sorry, I'm really so sorry!"

Don't apologize! You did it because I got caught, she should have never been forced into that situation but if she would have waited for back up it would have been too late for his crysts to be saved. He had been saved by her but was humiliated at his own helplessness of the situation and was taking it out on her, she just stood there apologizing. 

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" he didn't reply, she didn't want to leave him alone in this state but she also couldn't push her presence on him. She knew he was still out of it with the drugs in his system so she really didn't want to leave him, she could ask Jamiston or Tsubaki to stay with him. She wanted to try using her purifying crysts to counteract the drugs more than she had.

He looked so angry, hurt, humiliated, lost as he stood up looking at her stepping towards her "Ive been captured and tortured before. I have captured and tortured as well but when I saw my tracker was broke and my body was paralyzed I really lost all hope. That is how every kid they have taken has felt if not worse." she hadn't realized she had been backing away from him as he stepped towards her until her back was against the wall "The difference is I had you, how did you find me even from such a distance?" he had her pinned between his arms and the wall, his eyes were cold.

"W..we.. no you have m-my crysts so I could sense you, no matter what the crysts in yo-your back are mi-mine they will always pull m-me towards them. Yo-You already kn-know this." she bit her lip, she had thought she had gotten rid of this stutter a long time ago. She mentally checked herself to calm down.

"So your saying I can't ever hide from you? I'm feeling like you have an advantage over me, you take away my choice, you can track me down no matter where I am and you could easily betray or kill me...."

"NO! I would never hurt you!" her eyes were looking up at him with tears. Thomas did this, by being betrayed and thrown into the worst possible scenario had uprooted paranoia in Noctis. She was scared right now, his eyes were black, if he fought her she wouldn't be able to fight back she had expended all of her energy. She could barely stand on her feet anymore and her vision started to blur from the havoc she had wrecked earlier.

 "I'll leave Noctis! I'll leave and you won't ever have to see me again, take out my crysts and you can hide from me but I won't come looking if you want to be left alone." she tried to dip under his arm and he pulled her to him hugging her.

"I didn't say to leave! Don't leave me alone!" he fell to his knees in front of her, he had his arms wrapped around her waist and his face resting against her stomach. It was almost automatic to stroke his hair "No don't touch me!..... just let me stay like this...please." he had his face pressed into her bare stomach as he had spread her robe a little when he nuzzled into her. She leaned back against the wall and slid down it slowly, she really wanted to collapse but he needed her. He slid down with her not letting go of her so he was laying on the floor with his head in her lap and arms wrapped around her waist. She was still in her bathrobe she felt a little self conscious since she had nothing on under the robe, he had woken up just as she exited the shower. She felt herself falling asleep, she had Noctis in her lap, she slid down him so she could lay down but he was still clung onto her.