Buds of Despair

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Everyone was working so hard to try to put her mind at ease, she wished it would work. She was currently very happy but she still couldn't fully feel content, they had taken something from her this last time. Christian had tortured her all the time but not like they did, his were sick games for his own personal entertainment, he had never put his hands on her in a sexual manner. 

She had felt like an outsider looking in while her body had been passed around, groped, molested and played with. She could see the humiliation from a distance, in front of Noctis and Tsubaki to top it off. She had been drugged but it was still embarrassing to act that way in front of them. They both saw her in such a humiliating state, she felt degraded, dirty, their hands had stained her body, everywhere they had touched still felt disgusting. She had scrubbed her skin off several times without realizing it when she was taking a shower and could still feel the dirtiness on herself. Her mind went blank and she felt warm all of the sudden.

"Bella.....snap out of it." Luka had her face cupped gently in his hands looking into her eyes with his forehead pressed to hers he looked so worried, she tried to smile, she didn't know what kind of face she made to make him look more concerned but he did. 

"Bella what did they do to you?" his voice was desperate, he felt helpless as he hugged her "Why don't you quit, please you don't have to be in field. Bella I'm begging you, don't go back out on missions." 

Noctis had been watching this Bella all week no wonder he looked so worn out, every minute her mood was changing, she needed constant attention, how had he been handling her by himself? "Bella we are having a sleepover tonight, we will all sleep together ok?" she nodded.

"I'm sorry Luka." she had tears in her eyes and her body was trembling in his arms.

"There is nothing to apologize for, I miss sleeping with Bella. I won't let you be alone and Noctis needs a good night of rest." she nodded against his shoulder. "Why don't we go see a movie tomorrow or go play at the beach?" he pushed her hair out of her face as she leaned back away from him a little to rub her eyes.

"Can we see a comedy?" she looked like a little kid again. She had grown up quite a bit these last few months, she was starting to look more like a young lady instead of a little kid.

"Whatever you want."

"I haven't been able to keep up with what is new lately. Do you have any suggestions?"

"I think we can find something Bella will like." they all stayed in the water relaxing while Noctis slept, nobody wanted to wake him up. His face was scrunched up, no wonder he couldn't sleep he had to deal with hers and his nightmares as his eyes shot open in a panicked state but took several breaths to calm down as Isabella swam over to him and synchronized their crysts to calm him down immediately. His eyes looked so pained when he looked at her it made her feel guilty for making him feel this way.

He was suffering because he had to watch everything that was done to her and not be able to do anything, survivors guilt since she should be dead. Kuro and Luka have told her constantly that watching her die was an awful feeling, Noctis watched her get tortured, her cries, her screams, he had never seen anything like what they did to her. Her regenerative abilities were a curse when in enemy hands, she had endured all of it. "Isabella...." he wrapped his arms around her.. "I don't know what to say or do, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I couldn't do anything."

"Noctis why are you apologizing we were all captured there was nothing else we could have done, we did everything perfectly. Nothing was your fault."

"I couldn't do anything! You were right in front of me! Why didn't you protect yourself! Why just us!? Why did you do that!? I would have rather been tortured than see what I did, it was worse watching it happen to you!" he pushed her away but she didn't let go hugging him to her.