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"It's been two days," I said. "Probably the worst two days of my life. And that's saying a lot, considering I tried to off myself a couple of years ago." I chuckled, shaking my head, holding Mir's hand. I've been here since 7 in the morning when visiting hours started.
I can't sleep, can't eat. I feel myself slipping back into my depression, a feeling I haven't felt in months. Now, without him, it's like I'm drowning all over again.
I haven't had the time to do anything. Besides feeding Astro, crying, and rotting in bed, my days have been consumed by coming to the hospital at the crack of dawn and staying until visiting hours are over at 10 pm. Leaving him here by himself just don't sit right with me. I feel guilty for every minute I'm not by his side.
"Everyone been trying to keep me sane, checking in on me, but it's so hard." The steady beeping of the monitors was the only response.
"Remember what you promised me when we got together on my birthday?" I paused. "And it was a pinky promise at that."
"You said you weren't gonna hurt me or else Imma have to fuck you up." I chuckled. "But I guess someone did that for me."
oh I'm hell 😀😭 #darkhumor #trauma
I grabbed the necklace he gave me that same day. I hadn't taken it off since. Looking over at the little table, I saw his necklace that he never took off either, but all the surgeries and scans had required it to be removed. Still has his blood on it.
I grabbed it, walking over to the mini sink to wash it off. Drying it off with a paper towel, I walked back to his bedside and carefully put it around his neck.
"I don't give a fuck; they gonna have to take it off again. Shit's too expensive not to wear," I mumbled to myself.
"And yo lips are dry as hell," I said, grabbing my Aquaphor and putting some on him. "Can't have you out here looking a mess."
