Raw throat from unanswered screaming
A head filled with pain after bashing it against the wall
Chewed down nails, red poking out
Red face
Tear soaked pillows
Sleep
Wake up
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat...
Fingers holding strands of freshly ripped out hair
Numbness
Tears
Numbness
Again
And again
And again
How long can one hold onto a rope
When that rope is already close to breaking
And you can't call for someone to bring you a new one
It's not their problem
It's mine
It's always been mine
If I fall...
I fall alone
But I can't fall
I can't let the others try to dive into the pits of despair after me
More tears soak the already drenched pillow
I don't care
I always was pathetic
Might as well look it too
I can laugh it off later
When I can barely recognize my own voice
When none of it feels real
When my smiles are back to being fake
Fake
How much else is fake?
It's hard to tell truth from lie
When you spend most of your days lying
To yourself
To everyone else
To anything
In the fight
The desperate fight
To hold onto that rope
Without letting anyone see as it slowly breaks
More and more
And you continue to break with it...
Slowly losing yourself
All over again
How many times have I already slipped?
What will be the final time?
Will I ever truly be free
If I do get back out of the hole?
Does it even matter?
I bet I'll still feel crazy
Because no one else can see that rope
As it crumbles beneath my fingertips
But hey
What's new?
Certainly not this
It's comforting almost
Fimilar
I hate sunlight
So maybe it's better I stay
In the pitch dark hole of my never stopping mind...
I'm back to that point
That wonderful point
The one that feels the most calming
While also filled with panic
A point of realization
That despite the desperate fighting
A hope
That the rope can just snap already
And it wouldn't be my fault
Because I did try
I fought with everything I had to make it out
Right?
Right...
Another lie
I know it...
Because how are you supposed to fight with everything you have
In a fight half of you is just ready to lose already?
But what's one more lie?
It's nothing...
So I tried my best
I'm trying my best
***
4/29/2022
New song got released today. Declined by Britton. Really good song
YOU ARE READING
The Knife
PoetryShort story poem thing, lol. Idk, 330 words. Literally. I checked. So just read it. If you don't like it... you wasted like 2 minutes. I did mention stabbing someone, so like... If you're into that it's there... *** Okay, so cuz I made this last yea...
