Next year will be better10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
The tears rain down harder with each number
Seconds to turn to minutes
How can it be a good year when you spent the first 7 minutes crying
Trying to keep quiet as your mom is barely 10 steps away from you
She got up when the fireworks started
Cold breeze on our faces as we stood outside and watched them
A gross drink Mom and I used to love
A cupcake
A fresh start
It'll be a better year
But those first 7 minutes
The crying turns to several times a day
I can't sleep even knowing school awaits
Still crying at night
Trying to prove something you're not sure what by day
Same old diary entries wishing things were different
Same old need to scratch your wrist bloody or bash your head into a wall
Maybe I'll stay clean the first month
Of course, the cutting didn't start until Febuary last year
The cycle still feels like it's repeating even there
How is it supposed to be a better year when everything feels the same?
When you're still waiting for things to get bad because you gain more trauma every year without fail for at least 10 years straight, maybe even all 16?
It's gonna be a better year
But it still feels like last year
Does a better year even exist?
I've had worse years than 2022
At least I didn't get abused that year
But my mental health is still shit
I'm still ranting on some stupid failed poetry thing
It's not poetry anymore
Just some stupid kid feeling like they've lost their mind
I keep hoping my writing will help people
Someone
Somewhere
But I hate thinking about how people could relate to the words I type
I wish no one had to feel like this
I wish I could believe new years will really be better
Maybe for some they are
Maybe this year really will be different
Maybe I can be happy and not be scared the happiness will come crashing down
Maybe
Maybe
YOU ARE READING
The Knife
PoetryShort story poem thing, lol. Idk, 330 words. Literally. I checked. So just read it. If you don't like it... you wasted like 2 minutes. I did mention stabbing someone, so like... If you're into that it's there... *** Okay, so cuz I made this last yea...