Prisoner

4

Routines. It's strangely comforting even if I just want to sleep away 25 years. Like sleeping beauty.

Breakfast at eight. You are encouraged to eat it in the common area. I eat in my cell. Afterwards, I'm shown to the laundry department by Zayn. I get my own workstation. A big guy who introduces himself as Big-Shawn gives me the instructions. I get to fold everything. Put them in different piles. After an hour, I'm bored out of my mind. At least no one is bothering me. A guard is overseeing things.

When it's time for lunch, the other inmates hurries off. I finish folding a towel.
"Move it along, Tomlinson!" The guard shouts.

I join him and ask him to bring me lunch to my cell. He sighs, like I'm being difficult.
"Fine."

He unlocks my cell and lets me in. Leaves the door open. I take a seat on the bed. Reach for the remote. Someone's entering my cell. I look up expecting the guard. My eyes grow wide. It's Sinaga.

Before I can react, he's on top of me. I push him off. Fight for my life. I manage to get up. He grabs me and punches me. I hit the wall, but I punch him back. I've never been in a fight before. He manages to throw in a couple of more punches. I hit him a couple of times. My ears are ringing. A loud whistle makes him stop.
"Later, sugar." He says, making it sound like a promise, before he hurries out of my cell.

The guard finds me a minute later. Takes me to the infirmary. Dr. Horan looks at me with worried eyes. My right eye is swollen, so I can't see him properly. My lip is busted.

I want to cry, but I hold it in. He gets an ice pack for my eye. Stops the bleeding on my lip.
"Let me see your hands."

I look down at my bandages. They're bloody. I hold them out. I'm not cuffed to the bed this time, but the guard doesn't leave the room.

He removes the bandages. Cleans my hands. The left one is fine. I'm a righty. I have torn the stitches on my knuckles. He shakes his head.
"I have to re-do these. I'll give you a cream to numb the feeling, but it will still hurt."

"Fine." I say.

He glances at me.
"What happened this time?"

I keep my mouth shut. I may not know much about prison cultur,  but I know that snitches get punished. He sighs.

He stitches my hand. It hurts like hell. Dr. Styles comes barging in just as he finishes. Harry looks upset.
"Niall, can I talk to him alone?"

Dr. Horan nods and leaves the room. Dr. Styles looks at the guard.
"You too, Tom."

"He's uncuffed." Tom says.

"I'll take my chances." Harry says dryly.

Tom hesitates but leaves the room. Harry turns to face me.
"Who did this to you?"

"You know I can't tell you that." I reply. He stares into my eyes. Sighs.

"Louis, I need a name if I'm gonna be able to help you."

"And do what? Throw him in the hole for a couple of days? Yeah, that won't make him hungry for revenge." I snort.

He knows I'm right.
"Try to stay out of fights, okay?"

"I rather die fighting than become someone's prison wife." I spit out.

His eyes widen. It almost looks comically.
"Someone is targeting you?"

"I'm a pretty guy." I try to joke. Then the seriousness of my situation finally catch up with me. I start to shake uncontrollably. Burst into tears.

He surprises me. Pulls me in for a hug to comfort me. I cling to him. Break down completely. He doesn't speak. He just holds me.

I manage to pull myself together. Embarrassed.
"Sorry." I mumble.

He let go of me.
"Showing emotions isn't a weakness, Louis." He says softly.

I roll my puffy eyes.
"In here it sure as hell is."

He hands me a piece of paper. I blow my nose. He's eyeing me curiously. I must look like a mess.
"You puzzle me, Louis."

"How so?" I wonder.

He shrugs.
"I don't know. I met a lot of inmates. Maybe I'm being stereotypical, but... never mind. I'm gonna talk to the guards to make sure you won't be left alone."

"Uhm, thanks." I say.

"Just be careful, okay?" He says.

"I'll do my best. There's a gym here right? If I would take up exercising once in my life, this feels like the right time to do it." I smirk.

He doesn't look amused.
"There's a gym."

"Great. Uhm, thanks for, eh, comforting me." I say. Blush.

"It's my job." He answers lightly. Somehow, I don't think hugging murderers is part of his job description, but I'm thankful. I needed that.

He stands up.
"I'll see you tomorrow then."

I nod my head. He leaves, and Dr. Horan and the guard re-enters the room. The guard takes me outside for a quick smoke. Then I ask him to lock me inside my cell. I watch tv for the rest of the day. Eat dinner by myself. The feeling of loneliness has me in a firm grip. I need drugs.

I take a shower. Wash away dry blood. Change my bandages. Shave my stubble. Spend too much time staring at myself in the plastic mirror. I look different. Rough. My eyes are lifeless. Like they lost all hope. Not even a glint of humour.

I go to bed early. I just lay there staring at the ceiling. Thoughts roaming around in my head. How many days will I be able to keep Sinaga off me before he gets his way with me? Raped in prison doesn't sound like something I would be able to cope with. How do you survive that? It hadn't even crossed my mind before I was admitted. I stressed over insipid things, like what clothes to bring. I never thought about what kind of people I would be locked up with.