Prisoner

5

Harry must have talked to the guards because I notice that they always keep a close eye on me the next day. I couldn't be more relieved. Sinaga is also watching me but he doesn't approach me.

I work in the laundry room all day. Folding clothes. Bored. I eat my meals in my cell with the door locked. Who could have imagined that a prison cell would feel like my safe haven?

I have to go outside as well. I keep close to the guards and smoke my cigarettes. I don't look at anyone but I'm well aware of where I have Sinaga. He shouts at me but I don't as much as glance in his direction.

I have a meeting with Harry at three. I realize that I refer to him as Harry to myself, but of course, I don't call him that out loud. He asks me to take a seat. Smiles.
"How are you today?"

My eye is purple and swollen. My lip tight. My knuckles hurt.
"Fantastic. How are you?" I retort.

"I'm good." He answers, sounding amused. Continues. "How are you really?"

I shrug.
"I've been dealt a fucking lousy hand of cards. Sometimes life just screws you over, you know?"

He looks in his papers. Of course, he has a file on me.
"Your mother died a couple of years ago. I'm sorry for your loss. Wanna talk about it?"

"No." I say. Get tense.

He folds his hands in front of him on the table. My eyes get stuck. Long fingers. Big. I tear my eyes away. Look up. He's watching me.
"Have you processed her death?"

I snort. Yeah, with drugs. Lots of it. I stay quiet. He looks in his papers again.
"Your sister died a year later?"

"I don't want to talk about my family." I say. Glare at him.

"Then answer me this, were you an addict before they died?" He asks.

"No, and I got clean, okay?" I huff.

"Rehab?" He wonders.

"No, alone, cold turkey." I reply.

He looks impressed. Makes a note.
"Good. Are you thinking about using now?"

"No." I lie, too fast. He wrinkles his eyebrows. He doesn't believe me.

He looks me straight in the eyes. I twist uncomfortably in my chair.
"I understand that it must be very tempting to find an escape, but please don't do that, Louis. You're putting yourself at risk, in so many ways. Hang in there."

I hold back a snort. Can't help the eye roll. He looks worried. I don't want that. I smile at him.
"Are we done here Doc? I have a gym to go to."

"Yeah, go ahead. Don't hurt yourself trying." He chuckles.

"How hard can it be?" I question, sounding amused.

"It takes discipline. I'm sure you'll ace it. Just watch your hands. You don't want to tear those stitches." He smiles.

"Right, no boxing then." I chuckle.

"You box?" He asks.

"No, but I should surely learn how to. I've never been in a fight before. Never really had to learn how to hit someone." I reveal.

"Not even as a teen?" He questions.

"I'm not a violent guy. I can usually talk myself out of any situation. Until now." I snort.

He just looks at me. I can see his confusion. He doesn't know what to think. I'm a murderer in his eyes. In almost everyone's eyes. My family at least believes me. Thankfully. I don't know what I would have done otherwise.

We say goodbye. He wants to see me the next day as well. I don't know why. It's not like I'm gonna tell him much of importance.

Liam is working. I like him. He follows me to the gym. Give me some tips. I can see he's a guy who works out. I run the treadmill. I'm out of breath in minutes. My stomach cramps. I bend forward with my hands on my knees.
"Weren't you a gym teacher?" Liam teases.

I laugh.
"Yeah, that doesn't mean I have to stay fit. I just had to tell the kids to run."

All of a sudden someone grabs my hips from behind and presses their boner against my bum.
"Back off Sinaga!" Liam shouts.

"Later, sugar." Sinaga purrs in my ear before he lets go of me.

I hold my breath. Wait for him to leave before I let it out.
"I want to go back to my cell." I tell Liam. Slight tremble to my voice.

"Of course. Are you okay?" Liam wonders. Eyeing me.

"Sure." I say. I don't sound convincing.

I let out a breath of relief as soon as the cell door is locked behind me. At least I'm safe here. I kick off my sneakers and remove my clothes so I can step into the shower. I let the warm water wash over me with my eyes closed. Ruining my bandages but I don't care. I remove them and throw them in the sink.

I take a long shower. Being incarcerated has made me appreciate the small things. A hot shower. A good laugh. Maybe I'll even pay a visit to the prison library. I have never been much of a reader. I haven't really had the time to just sit down and read a good book. Now I have nothing but time.

I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. Step up to the sink. Wipe away the fog on the plastic mirror. Stare at myself. Sigh. Brush my teeth.

I find a clean pair of boxers and slip under the duvet. The mattress is lumpy and I move around until it feels okay. I turn on the tv. Reruns of Friends. I used to love that show.

I almost forget where I am. I imagine that I'm staying at a cheap hotel. Maybe I'm attending a teacher conference? Or follow my favorite football team to a game somewhere?

Okay, this is just making me depressed. I turn off the tv and turn to the side so I can see the door and fall asleep.