How to save a life [ongoing]

Chapter 8

"Let's go somewhere after school." Azumi gazed up at him.

"Can't" his voice dull as he continued on ahead. Mind racing with thoughts; too fast for him to process. 'Do it. Go to the bathroom and do it. Don't act suspicious. They won't know.'  They infiltrated his mind as though it were merely a thin piece of paper; Iwaizumi saw through him as though he were glass.

Transparent. That's how he seemed right now. Clearly trapped in his own mind longing for escape, craving the release. Longing for an end to this feeling.

"Pleaseeeeee" Azumi pleaded. She stopped and grabbed his hand. "Tooru we hardly hang out anymore outside of school." Iwaizumi glanced to the side. He knew it was true, Oikawa had been practising a lot especially since they played against Karasuno. Whenever he had free time he used it to sleep or train. Same for when he was injured, he did his work from home and refused to see people when they asked. She came and visited him most days -though it wasn't always for long- dropping off fresh milk bread from her parents bakery as they always made extra just for him.

"I know, I have volleyball practise after school though. This is my last year to make it to nationals." She gave a sad smile but understood. Recognising how much it meant to him, she swallowed her words, but it was still hard. After a moment of hesitation he sighed whilst turning around to look at her, guilt swelling up inside him. "Fine." He placed his hands gently on her shoulders as he spoke softly. "Be ready at 8pm tonight, I'll pick you up" he kissed her cheek with care before he walked off towards class trying to shake off the negative thoughts.

His mind constantly pointing out ways in which he could hurt himself. 'The pencil' He glanced at the stationary trapped between his slender fingers before dropping it to the table. A few people turned around. Their eyes like daggers, piercing through him. It was like they were noticing every one of his faults and judging him for it. His palpitating heart felt like it was going to explode as he went lightheaded. The trembling began. Everyone had turned back around to listen to their teacher. His hands grasped his hair as he rested his head on the desk. A heavy feeling spread through him as his heart pounded inside his body. On the outside he appeared calm, on the inside he felt as though he were about to die.

8pm

He knocked gently on the door. His hands firmly holding a bouquet of flowers behind his back. She opened the door swiftly. She was wearing a casual short black dress with fishnet tights, black ankle boots and her leather jacket. Her hair fell effortlessly onto her shoulders.

"Hey" she smiled softly.

"Hey" he said giving her the bouquet.

"Thank you" she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. She took ahold of his hand and shut the door. "Where are we going?" There was no response. "Tooru?" He snapped back to reality.

"Yeh?"

"Where are we going?" She squeezed his hand in affection.

"Oh, uh, You'll see" he replied as he opened the door to the taxi. He had previously given the driver the directions of where to go. As soon as they began to get close, he covered her eyes. She giggled trying to pull his hands away form her eyes.

"Tooru" she said in between laughs.

"Nope." His voice firm and low. Azumi could tell he was smiling though.

"I didn't even say anything but your name"

"I know you, and no, you can't see, it's a surprise" he was laughing aswell.
"Fine" she pouted. Once they weighed he payed the driver and got out with his hands still blocking her eye. He then had one hand covering her eyes as the other guided her body.

Their feet landed firmly on the floor as he payed the driver.

As he removed his hands, her jade green eyes lit up, glowing effortlessly under the warm lighting. Oikawa watched as the smile on her face grew. 'She seems happy. Good'  he thought. He was proud to have made her smile. They entered the restaurant and sat at the table he had reserved. His calloused hand gentry trailed down her soft cheek.

The dinner went well. Oikawa kept zoning out a lot though.

"So you know how your favourite dessert is .... Well they didn't have it on the menu but I managed to get them to agree this one time with a bit of persuasion..."

"Do you mean you annoyed the hell out of them? You payed them? Or you heavily flirted with them for it?

"What kind of person do you think I am?" He dramatically gasped. Small laughs escaped them both as the waiter came over with the food.

It fell silent as they thanked the waiter.

"Tooru I think we need to talk." Azumi whispered, her voice breaking as she did. Both were staring at their empty plaits.

"I know"

"I think we should break up, BUT" she stressed. "stay friends if you are willing too. I always want to be here for you if you ever need advice or some to help you or distract you. I will be here. I don't want to lose you, in anyway."

"Yeh, me too but can I ask why?." He said struggling to hold back his tears. 'It's my fault, I ruined everything, I wasn't good enough, I'm never going to be good enough and they will all leave me.'

She grasped his hand and squeezed it. "I promise you, you're an amazing person and you are more than enough, but i think it's for the best. You're really focused on volleyball and that's important to you so I understand and don't want to hold you back. I'm focused on preparing for college. I think we're both really busy currently snd it's making me feel like we have distanced a lot. Not just that but I don't think I'm the one you're truly in love with, I know you do love me but I don't think it's just me, and that's okay"

"Yeh we are both really focused on different things right now I understand, I think it would be better for both of us individually and our relationship with each other." He wasn't lying. Oikawa truly did it understand where she was coming from and agreed. He then processed the last bit of what she said. "Wait what do you mean by you're not the only person I love?"

"It doesn't matter, I think overtime you will figure it out. Both of you." She smiled diligently.
They spoke a bit more about what things would like between them now before driving home. The setter wrapped his arms closely around her body as he said goodbye to her. A single tear slid down his face as he watched the door to her house shut. They ended on good terms but that didn't mean it didn't hurt them both.