City Lights of the Avenues (Avenue Series #1)

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∞ xxxi ∞

"Summer's already near."

Napatango ako sa sinabi ni Lyle. Nandito kami ngayon sa Luminare's Coffeeshop para bumili ng kape at para na rin tumambay. Ipinalibot ko ang paningin sa lugar habang samut-saring mga alaala ang pumasok sa utak ko.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"What's your plan?"

"Hindi ko pa alam," sagot ko saka bumaling sa kaniya. "Masyadong busy sa ospital, hindi ko maiwan-iwan, Lyle..."

"Understandable, since we're all busy too," he said. "But of course, we need to breathe from the responsibilities."

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. Kung siguro ako pa rin 'yung dating Lavy na nakilala nila, agaran akong papayag. Pero iba na ako. My young self likes procastination, and was lazy. But now, I just want to fill my duty.

"Bakit? May plano kang mag-bakasyon?" I asked instead. He answered me with a shrug.

"I also don't know," napairap ako sa naging sagot niya sa 'kin. Ang lakas mang-aya, ah? But his answer really defined how busy he is. Hindi lang siya, hindi lang ako, pero pati mga kaibigan namin. Ni hindi pa kami nakakapag-kita lahat, e.

Natahimik kami nang ilang sandali. Sumimsim na lang ako sa kape habang naaalala ang mga alaalang nakasalalay rito sa coffeeshop. I honestly missed the young adult days, when I only thought about singing and cramming.

"Lyle," I called. He immediately gave me his attention but I was looking at my hand holding the cup of coffee I am drinking. "Minsan ba naisip mong... what if hindi nangyari ang lahat nang 'to... May mababago ba?"

Hindi muna siya nakasagot sa tanong ko. Sasabihin ko na sanang hindi na niya kailangang sagutin 'yon nang nagpakawala siya ng buntong-hininga. "No, nothing's gonna change."

I didn't answer. I just looked at him while waiting. He seemed noticed it because he smiled a little. "Even if you want to change the event you wanted, what will happen afterwards will always be there dahil nakatakda na 'yon..."

Dahan-dahan akong tumango at sumimsim muli sa kape. Kapag ba hindi ko nakilala si Aurelio... ganoon pa rin ang mangyayari? O kapag ba minahal ako nina Mommy at Daddy... ganoon pa rin ang mangyayari?

I know I still have many questions but I can't elaborate it. I am still confused even when it's already years passed. Pero kahit ganoon, nandito pa rin ang sakit at galit sa loob ko, hindi na nawawala sa sistema ko.

I badly want to blame myself, but I blamed my parents more. They made my life miserable... They made the young Lavy's life miserable. I never wanted it, but why did they gave me those?

"Tama ka..." I said after a minutes of silence. I looked down and smiled a little. "Maybe it was really meant to happen."