Grown to hate

Chapter 9: Help

Knock knock Asta turned in his bed and ignored the knocking. His door opened and a certain girl had come in. "Asta. You haven't come down for breakfast, so I decided to bring you a plate." Noelle said. Asta stayed still under his sheets. He didn't even glance at the girl. Noelle looked at his desk and saw his dinner from last night in the same place where she had left it. The girl couldn't help but worry for her friend. He told her nothing of what caused him to cry, so that had erupted many questions. Noelle walked up to his desk and saw a letter; she tried to avoid reading the letter, but she still got a glance of what it said. The girl frowned when seeing that Asta lied about himself in the letter. She assumed it was a letter for his village. Noelle put the plate next to the stale dinner and looked over to Asta. She sat at the foot of his bed and saw that he was awake. "You don't have to stay silent forever you know." She said. "Just get out." Asta said. "No. I don't take orders from you, I just want to help you." Noelle said. "Why? Why help someone like me? I'm a horrible person who doesn't deserve help. I berated, insulted, killed. I've done so much and I can't take anything back." Noelle stayed silent for a moment. "Why did you kill?" She asked. Asta glared at the girl. Noelle stared into his eyes and wasn't going to back away; she knew that Asta needed help, and she wanted to be the one to help him. "I killed them because they had done things I couldn't forgive. Some tried to kill a teacher of mine, and the other stole my foster brothers grimoire. I gave them a slow and painful death, I made sure they regretted every single decision they had made. And I never even thought about if I was in the wrong, I only killed for my own personal gain." "But you didn't kill them for your own personal gain. You killed them to help your brother and teacher." "I still killed them." "You did, but it's never too late to change. You told me that I can become stronger if I try hard enough, why won't you try to become a better person and prevent yourself from making the same mistakes?" Asta looked at the water mage and sat up on his bed. Noelle was surprised to see that Asta finally moved. "When I was a kid, I used to live alone with just my mother. She meant everything to me. She was the only person I knew, and her alone was enough for me. She fed me, clothed me, played with me, and loved me. On my sixth birthday, I found a boy around my age. He was hurt and he wasn't even conscious. My mother took him in and healed him, she was obviously going to help. We didn't have any way to call magic knights for help, even if we did we wouldn't have because of.. reasons. Later we found out that the boy didn't have any parents, he was hurt because others had beaten him. My mother decided to take him in, and from that day I was grateful for having someone to call 'brother'." Noelle was smiling hearing such a heartwarming story. She unconsciously inched closer to Asta and kept listening with all her attention. "For about a year me and him always played together. We got along really well, but we did have our arguments. Thing is.. we only argued about things that didn't matter. It was always something like cheating in a game, being lazy, or just wanting to bother one another. Our mother always had to stop us and forced us to make up right after. I would give away everything just to have that life back. What do you think about my brother?" Asta asked. Noelle didn't expect a question during a story, but she replied truthfully. "He sounds like a good kid." "Would your opinion change if I told you he was a devil?" Asta asked. Noelles eyes had widened, she could recall Asta calling someone a devil the day before. She thought for a moment and then looked at the state her companion was in. "No. It wouldn't change." Noelle answered. "My brother, Liebe, lost control of his body. The one who took him over is the one I hate the most. The current demon king. Lucifero." Asta said the name with so much hate. Noelle was attentive and noticed Asta was filled with rage. "My mother had a curse on her. The curse drained mana and vital energy from anyone who even came near her. Somehow, I wasn't effected; I think it was due to her carrying me in her womb when she was cursed. I don't know how she got pregnant, but I don't care. She kept me and could only treat me with love and care. When Liebe became possessed, my mother grabbed onto Liebe. Her curse managed to take that damn bastards possession away, but before he left he used Liebes body to kill her. I remember the day as if it had happened yesterday. Every minute detail. The look, the blood, her last words to me." Asta voice began to break. "Asta, remember that mommy will always l- l-l" Asta couldn't take it anymore. The boy broke down in tears. "And I blamed him! I didn't even consider the pain he went through!" Asta cried. Noelle grabbed onto Astas calloused hands and moved them away to see his face. She stared directly into his eyes and told him "You admitting your fault is the first step to recovering. Trust me, a sibling can forgive someone easily. Especially if they give a heartfelt apology." Noelle tried to put herself into Liebes shoes. She had been blamed for things out of her control. If her siblings apologized, she would forgive them in a heartbeat. Noelle took Astas right hand and placed it on his heart. "You need to speak with your heart more often than your mind. I think that people tend to think the worst when they have so much hate. This is why you should give in to what you truly want to tell them. You shouldn't repress your sadness, it'll only turn into hate." Noelle said. "But I only know how to hate. I was carved in it, molded by it. I can't take it anymore! I just want to give up! Why does it have to be me?! I just want my brother back!" Asta shouted.