A little too late (A Pete angst Story)

Chapter 19

Pete POV

I drove Rose home because I needed some alone time. I drove to the store, bought some flowers, and headed to Wynter's grave site. I parked my car along the general road and took a minute to look through the scrapbook. She had to be putting this together over the years because it doesn't look new and you can tell that a kid started this or did some of the work. I see pictures of me I have never seen before as well as pictures I forgot about. There are pictures of some of my other friends and even quotes of things they say written in this book. I take my time looking through the book and reminiscing and at the end are what seems like her final words. I loved you until my last breath and now I protect you until yours. I am not dead, because you are alive...and living for me, was simply your existence.

I get out of the parked car and walk to where her mother told me she was and at first, it is hard to find until it seems something flashes out the side of my eye. I follow it to look down and see her tombstone. I sit next to it and place the flowers behind her name and trace my fingers along the letters. I need to talk to her, I won't say one last time because I would never be satisfied with that. The others see her in dreams, I wonder if can I see her here. If I try hard enough she will come right...right?

"Wynter...I need to talk to you. Please, I know I am selfish for asking you to come to me seeing that I left you alone but I have so much I feel I need to say"

I wait for a while and the wind blows slightly but I don't feel anything. I get comfortable and lay down next to her tombstone expressing out loud that I am not leaving until she comes to talk to me. It takes a bit of time but as I watch the clouds pass by I feel something brush against my hand. I look over to see her, she looks so real that I almost doubt that she is dead. She is laying next to me watching the clouds. I go to grab her hand and of course, I miss bringing myself to the reality of everything but I feel the warmth around my hand making me think she is holding my hand.

"Wynter"

"Hello Pete"

"Why did you leave me? Leave our friends? Leave your mother? We all needed you"

"I was not strong enough to keep going. I was miserable and felt I would do better gone than alive. I physically helped at least 70 plus people by being an organ donor, giving blood, plasma, and organs that can be used. The love of your life can see, you have a fresh start to have your gaming career excel. The others have money to put toward their goals and dreams. My mother no longer has to worry about me, she can live her life and flourish."

"You don't think that we would give that all up for you? You don't think that I would give it all up for you?"

"Pete, we weren't even cool when I left. Why are you truly upset? I'm gone but I will still never leave you or any of the others. I will make sure you feel or see me when needed"

"I'm pissed because I never told you how important you were to me as a friend. I never told you how much I loved and appreciated you. I never got to take you on friend dates like Danny did or celebrate your 21st birthday as you did with the others. I never was the shoulder you could cry on. I never showed how much you mean to me"

"Don't feel guilty for any of that, I did not leave because of you. If I wanted to it would have been very soon after we stopped talking. I helped and provided happiness to the best of my ability, that was the only purpose I could find so when I completed that I left"

"But you were wrong, none of us are okay without you. We are all pretending but it is just not the same without you"

"No one likes change but we all eventually adjust to it, life does not wait for us so we learn to move forward. Everyone will learn to move forward but until then I show up for whoever needs me"

"Did you donate your eyes to Rose to torture me?"

"No, you loved her and she wanted to see. You wanted her to be able to see so I helped make that happen. As you get used to it they won't look like my eyes but they will become her own"

"If I would have returned your feelings would you still be here?"

"I can't answer that because if I say no, you will feel like I am lying. If I say yes because now I have someone I constantly have to work on making sure they are happy every day of our lives then you will beat yourself up about it every day of your life. The truth is I am not sure, I can't see the future."

"I'll make up for my mistakes here. I will talk to you a lot more and I will compliment you. I will spend holidays and random time with you. I will tell you I love you each time I call for you. I will make sure that you feel loved beyond life since I failed to do that on Earth"

"I will hold you back if you wait too long but that's okay. I will help you heal and it will be a semi-smooth transition so before you notice it I will be gone"

"I love you Wynter, I am so sorry I never told you before you left. You were one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for"

"I love you too Sunshine, you should get home soon since it is getting dark but if you need me later just dream of me and I will show. If you and the husbands get too crazy with your needs then I will have to put you all on a schedule"

She smiled and I felt my body become warm as I smiled back.

"Fine, take care of yourself and I'll see you soon"

"See ya, only in your dreams. Don't do anything stupid because I will prevent it. You have to live your life to the fullest, make my death worth something."

She goes to hug me and I can almost feel the hug. I feel loved and comforted, it might sound weird but I look forward to sleeping if that means I have time to mourn her with her. I don't know how long it will take to heal or feel better but I hope I never let Wynter's name disappear. I don't want her to be forgotten and I will do everything in my power to make sure that does not happen.