Looking For Love (NAMSEOK FF)

20

Namjoon POV

Close to an hour passed before I looked at my phone. I saw missed calls, voice mails, messages, and texts. I assumed they were Hoseok, noona, and by now maybe the twins.

I ignored all the notifications. I bought a bus ticket to Busan. I had to contact noona.

author's note

what do you think would happen between them? is Joon overreacting? why the hell is he going to Busan? who is there? hey reader, if you wanna talk to me I always reply. bye bye

I called noona, "I'm going to Busan, Tomorrow morning. I'm sorry but I need to go alone".

-- Please don't go back there. You don't need to, Joonie. Just come home.

-- I'm coming home but this isn't open for discussion. I need to do this or I'll never be free.

-- Please come home Joonaa. I love you.

--I love you too noona.

I didn't go home until it was very late. I knew she had to work in a few hours, so I'd see her before I left for Busan, but only for a short controlled amount of time. "Joonaa what happened? Hoseok was crying." Noona squeezed me so tightly that I couldn't breathe.

 "I threw away everything again because Jackson broke me. I have to stop this vicious cycle. I have to go see Mr. Kim."

"No you don't! Please don't go back there", noona said numbly. "I do! He's the one that made us both incapable of having normal relationships. He's why I'm willing to jump at any scrap of love that gets thrown on my way even though I know it's a fucking trap."

"Joonie I'm going with you", Noona was trying to save me again. She'd save my life when I was six. She'd saved my life when I was twelve and again when I was 15 and when I was 27. "Noona, I need to save myself, this time I need to go alone".

"Please don't" Noona was crying now, but she knew I was going to go regardless of her protest. The next morning I was on the bus heading back to where it all started. I finally looked at my texts but I couldn't stop crying everytime I tried.

I could feel the pain i'd caused all of them and I couldn't stand it. I got a cab to take me to the nursing home where Mr. Kim was living after all these years. The reciptionist was shocked to hear whom I was here to see.

 He'd never had a visitor before. No surprise there! As I walked down the long hallway toward my past, I braced myself for his acidic tongue and his cruel demeanor. I hadn't seen him in nearly 13 years.

"Can I get some water"?, The grizzled looking man in the hospital bed said when I walked into the room. He hadn't looked up at me. He must think I am one of his caregivers.

I poured a cup of water and set it on the table over his lap on the bed. "Thank you", Did Mr Kim just say thank you! I must be in the wrong room. "Are you new? I thought you are Ji ho."

"My name is Namjoon"

-"hmmm...I actually forget about everything. I thought you were Ji Ho"

- Do you know who I am?

- Namjoon. You just said that.

- Do you remember me?

- No

It was Mr. Kim. He looked tiny and frail. All his hair was white and yellowed with age.

He smelled faintly like urine or his bed did. Just then a nurse came in and was startled to see someone in this room. She asked, "can I help you?". "I checked in at the front desk, I am here to meet Mr Kim. But he doesn't seem to remember me."