always | gojou satoru [rewriting]

chapter 30 - i'm really sorry

You checked the time and it was already 5PM, so it was time for Suguru to send you home. Both of you ended up spending time talking to each other about many things ㅡ work, future date plans, going on trips together, your mom's birthday celebration and thoughts about being in a relationship. After meeting Dami at the bubble tea shop, you had to admit that your mood was ruined but Suguru knew how to brighten things up and you eventually forgot about her.

"I had a good time getting to know you more." he said while driving the car.

"Y-Yeah, me too. Thanks a lot." you said, holding a smile.

There was a short silence before Suguru began to say something that made you feel like jumping out of the window, "I honestly don't mind if you wanna take it slow. We don't need to be in a rush, right?"

You could feel your heart was beating crazily, "Y-Yeah."

Deep inside, you wanted him too.

Not long later, he finally arrived at the apartment lobby to drop you off. You thanked him and waved him goodbye, and waited until his car disappeared from your sight. Then, you headed back towards your place and couldn't wait to lie down on the bed.

Walking past Kento's home, you then typed in the passcode to your door and just when you were about to head inside, Kento's door opened and you could already hear Satoru's voice.

"We should do a sleep over next timeㅡ" Satoru said to Kento but stopped when he saw you.

You awkwardly looked at the both of them and smiled, "What's up?"

"Hey, Y/n. Just came back?" Kento smiled at you.

"Yeah." you nodded and when your eyes landed on the white haired man, you had no reaction but managed to say, "Thanks for going to the surveillance room with me."

"No problem." Satoru said and immediately looked at Kento, "Alright, see you later. Bye."

Once you were inside, you were about to close the door behind you until you felt something preventing the door from closing ㅡ it was Satoru's foot.

"What?" you let the door open, and he comfortably let himself entering your place, "Did you find anything?"

Satoru was contemplating whether to tell you or not.

"Not yet. My secretary is still working on it." he said, and the longer he stood there, the more awkward it became.

"Want anything to drink?" you began as you couldn't stand the silence anymore. You didn't know how to shoo him away, and he helped you last night so you shouldn't be doing that.

"Sure." he replied and found himself sitting at the living room while analyzing every single thing in your home.

A few minutes later, you brought a cup of chamomile tea and gave it to him. You let him sit on the sofa while you sat on the floor, "I've never imagined you sitting there with a cup of tea in my house." you said, which made Satoru smiled a bit. He never imagined as well. "So, how's you and Erㅡ"

"Let's not talk about that. It annoys the hell out of me." he immediately cut off before sipping the cup of tea, "This tea tastes good."

"If your mother knows you're here, she might kill me." you said, letting out a sigh and laughed afterwards. "You should head back after you finish your tea."

"Y/n." he called, placing his cup of tea aside and looked at you. "I want to talk about that with you right now. Can I?"

"Um, okay?"

He took a deep breath and said, "Tell me everything that happened. Let me hear it. I only trusted what my mother had been saying and never gave you a chance to speak."

You furrowed your eyebrows, not expecting Satoru would say that to you. He was mean, arrogant but now he was being a different person, "W-What has gotten into you?" you asked him.

"I don't know. Just tell me." he shrugged his shoulders.

You didn't know how to even start, "Well, let's just say that I never stopped sending you gifts. I never did. But, I didn't get to hear from you at all. I don't know what happened to the gifts." that was all you could say at the moment.

"I never received them and my mother said that you didn't want to have anything to do with me."

"Really?" you asked, "My mom tried to contact her and the last thing she told us was not to bother you anymore."

Could it be that..

Satoru began to recall everything his mother told him, every bad things she said about you and your mom. "She told me you wanted to cut ties with me."

"Why would I want to do that?" you asked him, your tone became frustrated. "We were so close and the moment I found out you were leaving the country, I was crying like crazy. I really loved you, you know that? You were like a brother I never had. You were the only one I had..."

Satoru's heart was broken when he heard your words, and seeing your eyes began to fill with tears was breaking him even more. He was speechless. Of course, he knew you were upset when he left the country.

Now, he started to think that everything his mother had said was not making any sense.

Maybe she knew what happened to the gifts you sent.

"I hate you so much, Satoru. You're so fucking mean and you trust your mother more than anyone else." you wiped your tears with your hands and covered your face in embarrassment, not wanting him to see how ugly you looked.

Satoru stood up and sat in front of you, then suddenly wrapped his arms around you to calm you down. You wanted to push him away but you couldn't. You didn't want to admit it but you did miss him. All the childhood memories together ㅡ there was no way you could forget.

"Okay, I'm really sorry." he whispered, patting your back. "Sorry, Y/n."

You stayed there in his arms for a few minutes until he broke the hug first. "This topic makes me emotional." you said.

Satoru stare at you, thinking how fragile you looked at the moment. He felt guilty ㅡ all these years, he was resenting you without any solid proof. The only thing he badly wanted to do now was confronting his mother.

"Kento was the one telling me to confront you." he said, avoiding eye contact as he felt embarrassed for no reason. Maybe because he was not used to apologizing. "I made a mistake and I hope you forgive me."

"I'm not going to forgive you that easily." you said, standing up from the floor and walked towards the kitchen to make a cup of tea for yourself. You began to feel embarrassed after the hug. "You better go home right after I finish my tea."

Satoru just chuckled at your reaction. "Whatever you say, ma'am."