How long until his heart breaks?

The Shattered Mind

Stiles laid there on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep but it wasn't for the reason everyone expected. He remembered seeing Derek's face full of worry and the looks from his friends who clearly wanted to know if he was alright. They probably were all thinking that he wasn't okay, I mean he had just killed a person: a real person of flesh and blood but Stiles was wide awake for completely the opposite. He didn't feel bad for what he had done in fact he felt glad he had beaten him for all the shit he had put people through.

Stiles thought about this for a long while and after a great deal of thinking he decided against telling his friends about what had crossed his mind and how he felt. What would they think of him? They had just got him back from the nogitsune, the last thing they needed was to find out that their sarcastic fun boy who they all knew and loved didn't feel bad for murdering someone, even if it was by accident. He closed his eyes an and eventually he fell asleep.

The next morning

Stiles woke up to his dad yelling at him from the doorway. He slowly opened his eyes to see his father who threw a clean shirt at his head and left to go get himself breakfast. Stiles groaned and got out of bed checking his clock. He had only gotten 4 hours of sleep. Quickly getting dressed he ran down the stairs and grabbed a piece of toast his dad offered him and ran out the door and into the jeep so he could drive to Scotts to pick him up and take him to school.

After a good 10 minute drive he arrived a Scotts house and Scott jumped into his jeep then they headed off.
"Stiles-" Scott began.
"I'm fine" Stiles said before Scott could finish his sentence.
"Stiles you look exhausted" Scott looked at the dark bags underneath his friends eyes with slight concern but brushed it off because he said he was fine.
The rest of the car drive was mainly about school work and the problems they both have with the maths teacher and how stupid he is.
As they arrived at school and got out the jeep they saw the rest of their friends and headed over to them.
"Hey did you guys remember to do the English homework" Issac asked pulling out his book "I forgot to do it".
"Issac we have had this homework for over a week" Lydia complained.
"And I've been busy" Issac said slowly.
Lydia rolled her eyes and headed into school with the rest of the pack.

Most of the day and passed and they were all heading to last lesson.
While they were walking though the corridor to their lesson Scott spoke up.
"After yesterdays incident we need to have a pack meeting at Dereks tonight. It will happen straight after school so everyone be ready" Scott headed into the English lesson first and sat down in his normal seat.
Everyone nodded and also sat down.
"Right then folks let's get down to business" Coach slightly yelled and began reading a passage of a book.

Everyone had their heads down listening and doing the work but Stiles couldn't concentrate. He kept seeing Arthur's dead body in his mind staring up at him.
He could hear his voice "you killed me", "your a monster", "you enjoyed this, what will your friends think when they find out?".
He got angry. This was just a fake Arthur a copy from his mind but again he wanted to stab him. Kill him all over again.
Stiles tried to push this to the back of his mind and push down his dark thoughts and feelings. The nogitsune changed him. Everyone thinks he is fine and still the skinny defenceless boy they all know but he wasn't. He could now fight just as good as them: even better than them but he knew that if he fought the way he had learnt he wouldn't be able to hold back and that darkness he held so deep inside himself would be let out for all the world to see.

"Stiles, Stiles, STILES" Coach shouted and Stiles snapped out of his trance like state.
"Hmm yes coach" Stiles said pretending he had been hearing him all along.
"Since you seem to be dosing off in my class you can read the next page to the class at the front of the room" Coach said yanking Stiles out of his seat and towards the front of the room.
Stiles stood at the front with his book and began reading from the pages. He looked ahead of him at his classmates.
His empty seat was at the front of the classroom but when Stiles looked at it he saw himself sat there.

The Stiles sat down looked up at him. He tilted his head "stop resisting".
The real Stiles kept reading ignoring his copy but he kept hearing it talk. "Your darkness is a part of you Stiles. You shouldn't hide it, you should embrace it, let everyone know who you are and show your friends your strong and powerful".
Stiles closed his eyes and reopened them to see his doppelgänger was still their staring up at him.
"Let it in". "Let it in". "Let it in".
"I'm sorry I need to go" Stiles closed his book and quick walked out of the classroom ignoring all the odd looks the class were giving him and went into the bathroom and ran over to the sink looking closely into the mirror.
He took some deep breaths and reminded himself that this is who his is and he is still the innocent Stiles everyone loved. He had lost too much in his life. His mum. His sanity. Allison. He wasn't going to lose his other friends because of who he had become.