Dear Goodbye... [COMPLETED]

DIARY ENTRY #35

DIARY ENTRY #35

Diary,

I miss him. I miss him so much and yet I can't feel him.

These past few days, I have been trying to reach out to him, y'know? Nakakailang chats ako, texts, jusko kulang na lang ata eh tawagan ko na rin siya.

But unfortunately, none of those were to get to him. Na para bang iniiwasan niya ako on purpose.

Is that it, Diary? Iniiwasan niya ba talaga ako? Eto na ba yung kinakatakot ko? Iiwanan niya na rin ba ako?

Is he getting tired of me? Is that it? Did I do something wrong? Did I... Did I irritate him in any way? Did I cause him any trouble?

Or maybe katulad nila Alysa, am I being too possessive of him? Nakakasakal na ba ako?

Katulad nila Cristian at Amelia, is he siding with Alysa as well? Is he going to leave me too without hearing my side? My explanations?

Ano na bang nangyayari ha? Ano 'to? Kaiwan-iwan ba talaga ako ha? 'Yun ba 'yon? Ano na? Lahat na ba iiwan na ako? Ilang araw ba ang hihintayin ko para iwan na rin ako ni Killian? Para naman makapaghanda ako. Ano na?

Ayoko na, Diary. Pagod na pagod na ako. Hindi ko na kaya yung sakit. Sumusobra na eh. Tama naman na please. Hindi ko na talaga kaya. Kakaunti na lang at masisiraan na ako ng bait eh.

Lately, I have been overthinking. I know that it is unhealthy but I couldn't stop myself.

I have so much stuff on my plate, Diary. They're overflowing. It's killing me.

Tama na please. Ayoko nang masaktan. Ayoko na ulit umiyak, para niyo nang awa. Masakit na masakit na eh. Ang bigat-bigat sa pakiramdam.

Nakakapagod umiyak sa gabi nang hindi alam ng kahit sino sa loob ng bahay niyo, tapos kailangan pagkagising eh parang okay ka na ulit.

Nakakapagod nang magpanggap, diary. Hindi ko na kaya. Gusto ko nang matapos lahat nang 'to please lang. Ayoko na.

Ayoko na.