Irish Oxytocin

Soul Marks | 15

❁ Chapter 15 ❁

I quietly drove to Cora's after the incident at Kaylen's. I felt...emotional. For the first time in months. I was incredibly vulnerable. Impulse controlled all my actions and I was afraid of that. I haven't felt so strongly towards someone in so long. Cora came into my life and my perspective changed. What's most important in humanity? I don't fucking know. But what's important to me?
Cora fucking Pierce.

As I approached Cora's house, I knew there was so much we had to address. I had to face the facts between us.
Cora and I had a hard time being "just friends", but if that's the only way I can have her right now, I'll take it. Staying away from her clearly wasn't working. I couldn't do it. Every part of me wanted her around. She was my stable ground to walk on in this new country.
Every moment with her gave me life. She makes me feel good.

I parked my car out front and noticed Daniels was there too. Considering that she told me he knows the truth, he'll be pissed if he notices I'm here.
I walked to the side of the house below Cora's window. I climbed up her pyramid of outdoor chairs as I made it to her window. I knocked and then slid it open.

Cora's Point of View

Nolan left about a half hour ago to do what he needed to. He asked me to wait for him, and I stupidly did.
He had no idea about the texts. I believed him, even if I knew I shouldn't. I could just tell in his eyes as he held me how conflicted he was about everything. It was like I had slapped him in the face, and metaphorically I did. I hit him with the truth, finally.
I planned on keeping it a secret forever. But when he was here...begging me to talk to him...
It was like the promise I made to Daniel to tell Nolan the truth was eating away at my brain.
I was still standing exactly where I was when he left. I was conflicted myself. What was I supposed to do now? Where does our friendship stand now after all this pain?
I don't forgive him, but I miss him. I didn't know which feeling was stronger. Betrayal or...lust.
As I stood there deep in my thoughts, I heard a knock. I glanced at my closed door, and as I did so, my window slid open.
In came a very exhausted-looking Nolan Gallagher.
I reached over and turned my lamp on. The silhouettes and moonlight disappeared.

"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he said back.
He closed my window from behind him.

"Daniels home now, so we have to be quiet," he whispered.
I nodded slightly as he leaned against the window.
"Cora..." he started.
I'm so sorry. I... I regret everything."

I stayed quiet, looking down at my feet.

"Where do we stand now?" I questioned.
"I don't know," he admitted.

As he leaned against my window sill, I noticed he wasn't all there. I knew he was blaming himself, and that's exactly what I didn't want. Truthfully, at first, I wanted him to feel pain for how he made me feel.
But now? I didn't want this. I didn't want him to stay awake at night wondering what he could've done if he was there, even if he deserves it.
Nolan is not responsible for the choices I made to keep him in my life. Do I have regrets? Of course. I regret not being open and honest from the beginning. But one thing I don't regret is not giving up on our friendship because some girl didn't want us to happen.

It's time I am honest with myself. We're all aware of the truth here. My friends...my brother...even my mother.
I was so lost before he showed up. I had no plan for my future and I had lost Liam in the process. I was just freshly heartbroken over my almost-high school sweetheart. My whole world was being challenged and he showed up to Roosevelt to threaten anything I had going for me.
One thing I did know for sure though, is he didn't ruin me.
Nolan saved me.