Empire /h.s/

six

Katherine

I really debated on not going out tonight.

After my lovely conversation with Harry yesterday, I didn't want to have to sit through an evening of possible awkward conversation with Jenny.

After Jenny walked back into Harry's office, I heard her yell at him asking what happened. Whether Harry's story matched mine or not, I have no idea. But I have a feeling that if he did tell her what went down, he most likely mentioned catching me in the act of going through his desk.

When I told him 'I'm a noisy person at heart' was wrong of me to say, and definitely didn't help my case. It's extremely invasive and highly unprofessional to go through your bosses stuff.

I was shocked when I wasn't teeming that day or even this morning. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm fired by next week, I'm bound to fuck something up again.

The rest of my shift, and most of today's, I was very much on edge. Not only from my intimidating conversation with Harry, but I kept having this feeling of being watched. I felt like since I messed up so badly, that my every move was being tracked. It could have been my subconscious reminding me that I went through things that I shouldn't have, or the fact that there is a camera that directly faces my desk.

I hadn't noticed the camera those first few days of working there, but after I saw it when Jenny and Mikey left for lunch, I wanted to shrivel up in a ball and hide under my desk.

For the rest of my shift yesterday I kept looking up at it wondering who was on the other side. I would imagine that Harry has a security team that checks the cameras randomly throughout the day, but for some reason I could feel as if Harry's eyes were looking at me through the lens.

Today I tried to pay it no mind, only glancing up at it a few times compared to my hundreds of glances yesterday. But I still had that nagging feeling of being watched.

Jenny told me she would pick me up at nine o'clock, and she was there on the dot while I rushed to put my shoes on. I'm currently sitting in the back of Black Betty with Jenny driving and Mikey in the front seat, fiddling around on my phone while they make small talk.

I still have this awkwardness around them, not only because of Harry, but I feel like I don't know them well enough to just make conversation.

I still feel terrible for knowing way more about Jenny than she does me, when she came over for dinner that night after my first day. She told me very personal things and all I had to offer was stuff about my brother and Sarah's love life.

Had Sarah not called I would have opened up to her. That was something that my therapist said might help me with my childhood trauma; opening up to people. She told me that talking about myself and my anxieties to others could help me find a good group of people to surround myself with who possibly share those issues.

Though, I'm not too sure how many people had to run to their neighbors house in the middle of the night with their kid brother, but I guess you never know people till you open up to them.

So far, I am doing so well at that.

I am just praying to the Gods or whoever is out there that I don't go blabbering my mouth tonight if I have one too many drinks.

Maybe water should be my friend tonight.

Fuck my life.

During my insistent thinking, Mikey turns around in his seat looking at me causing me to put my phone down, and turn my brain off.

"So, Kat, where are you from? I feel like I haven't been able to truly get to know you yet," Mikey questions.

The feeling is mutual.