Back In Time

No One Was Supposed to Find Out

James and Peter both had their mouths open in shock. I had just finished telling them. That Lily knew about the Werewolf situation.

"Yeah. That was pretty much my reaction too." Sirius chuckled. I had told him after he woke up. After the Christmas full moon. He did have the same reaction. Mouth opened in shock. For a long time.

We told the other two boys the day after they came back.

Then. James broke. "Well. If anyone was going to find out about the furry little problem. It's Lily Evans." He gave his head a short nod. I rolled my eyes for some reason.

I walked over to where he was. And put my arm around his shoulder. "Glad you think so. Personally. I'm glad she found out."

"Really? Why?" James frowned.

"I don't know. I guess maybe because someone in my Dorm knows. I don't have to sneak around all the time. Plus. I hate hiding things from my friends." I explained.

"Well. You better not be hiding this from us, young lady." James shook a finger at me. With a fake stern face on.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, dad." I replied. I froze. I just called James dad. I called my father. Dad. I've never done that before. It felt weird to say it.

"Good." James replied. Smiling. I broke out of my trance. And smiled back at him. Seeing him smile. I realized something. We had the same smile. It was identical.

I've noticed those thing. The little things I got from my parents. I had James's smile. Lily's laugh. And her temper. Well. Maybe a bit worse. I kinda walked like the two of them mixed together. And many more.

And it hurt. I hurt. Because. Knowing these things. It makes me miss the parents I lost. I know they're here. I know I'm seeing them. But. This is different. We're the same age. They're not older. I'm not younger than them. Seeing them. Makes me miss the life I could've had.

I broke out of my second trance. Looking around. At everybody. That's when I noticed. I noticed Remus staring at James and I. Looking between us. Frowning. And looking like he was thinking. I tilted my head in confusion. But. When he noticed me staring back at him. His frown went away. He gave me a smile and shrug. I returned the smile. But I was still confused.

What was he thinking about?

***

It was back to the Astronomy Tower for me. Another nightmare. Although. This one was different. It started out the same. Of what happened. That night. Which quickly changed to the attack. On the first day of school. Traveling back to 1975. Then. Switching to that first day. In Defense Against the Dark Arts. Then it changed. Not into a memory. Like the others. It changed. To people finding out about my 'furry little problem.' But. No one excepted it. No one supported me. It was. Bad. Then. It changed to Dumbledore. Telling me. That I had no way of going home. Back to my time. I then. I tried. But. Everything failed. And I was stuck. I couldn't go back. I was stuck back in time. And then I woke up. Breathing heavy. Sweat covering me. I stayed there. For a moment. Then. Got out of bed. And. I came here. My safe place. My happy place. Where nothing could go wrong. Oh. How I was wrong.

***

I was staring at the stars. And the moon. It was a half moon. Thirteen more days to the full moon. I closed my eyes. And took a deep breath.

"Couldn't sleep?" I heard a voice from behind me say. I shot open my eyes. And looked towards the stairs. I breathed out. It was Remus.

"Oh. It's you." I paused. "Yeah. Couldn't sleep. Nightmares."