BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2014

Chapter 66- Not Even In The Friendzone

December 26th, 2014:

I was in bed all alone again. It was weird to have so many beds in the room but for it to be empty, especially since my bed was at the far end so I could see all the empty beds clearly. It was unnerving.

I roll onto my right side as the bruising on my left shoulder started to hurt. Tomorrow morning, the management team would meet to decide on whether I would perform or not. I was really feeling fine, I hoped they didn't pull me out.

I let my mind drift and I start thinking about my dad's new girlfriend. She seemed really nice. Her kids were... interesting. I'd be lying if it didn't hurt to hear Anne say I wasn't her favourite, I thought I would for sure be due to the fact she now knew me, but I really couldn't blame her. Jungkook was amazing at everything, he was just better than me, that wasn't hard to see. But at least Anne showed some interest in me, the boy, Mathieu, seemed almost bored to speak to me, as if I wasn't worth his time.

Then San-E popped up in my mind. He was someone I wished would think I wasn't worth his time and would leave me alone. I hated that he thought it was ok to talk about me like that in public, and even worse in my presence.

I had heard my phone vibrate a few times during the 30 minutes I was spaced out and finally decide to check it. There were a few texts from Seokjin, Jimin, and Yoongi wishing me good night and to rest. One text took me by surprise, it was one from Jongin.

Kai: I hope you're doing ok

I think before answering him. Could I just be friends with him? He must have moved on; he has hundreds of girls to move on with. This must just be him worried as a friend. However, the look in his eyes after he saw me while fighting for his shoe made me doubt it.

I know I had convinced myself I had moved on. Any doubts I had, had been squashed and they must have been sparked because of that look. I felt bad for having moved on when it looked like he hadn't so my heart was seeing if I did maybe still have feelings. Even if I did have feelings, my brain had won over my heart and I had come to terms with just being friends with him.

Y/N: I'm ok, same as last time, just some bruising 😊

He texts back a few minutes later.

Kai: Thank god, I was worried, it looked painful

Y/N: It was, you have no idea lol

Y/N: But I'm all good now, don't worry

Kai: Are you going to perform tomorrow?

Y/N: I hope so, my managers will let me know in the morning

Kai: Always putting the group first...

Y/N: And you don't...

Y/N: Every time you've complained about back or knee pain and gone to perform anyways 😒

Kai: Touché 😉

Kai: Either way, I'll see you tomorrow?

Y/N: Yeah. I'll def be there

Kai: Hopefully we can hang out