BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2014

Chapter 16- Be Crazy

! Disclaimer -> self-harm !

Underlined = English

May 2nd, 2014:

I slowly wake up and get up from the couch. It was dark outside and only the kitchen light was on. I look around and see the boys with the managers around the kitchen table. I'm confused as to why they didn't wake me up and make my way to them.

"Who should tell her though?" Jungkook whispers.

"I'll tell her, I'm her guardian," Sejin says seriously.

They were obviously talking about me, what other female would they be speaking of.

"Tell me what?" I voice, making Hoseok and Seokjin jump.

"You're up! How did you sleep? You slept for a good 5 hours, it's 10pm now," Sejin says after looking at his watch.

"I slept surprisingly well, thanks," I reply, a little surprised I managed to sleep for that long as well, "so what's this secret meeting about? What do you guys have to tell me?"

I see everyone eyeing each other. This can't be good news.

"Um, well... we just got the news from Korea... the man who attacked you... he got to walk," Sejin finally lets out, "well not walk per-se. He pleaded insanity and after two meetings with two different psychiatrists, he's been deemed to have schizophrenia and polysubstance abuse. He has to stay at a psychiatric facility until he is deemed ok enough to go back out into society without being a threat".

I don't say anything, instead of processing everything he was saying. After all, I had been through, the countless meetings with police officers, and the recounting of the experience for the police and lawyers to use in court, he wasn't getting locked up. However, apparently, he was mentally ill, and that made it so that he didn't have to go to jail. But then he wasn't getting punished, or was he? He still did have to stay in a psychiatric facility and from experience, mental illnesses just imprisoned you in your own mind. But was it fair he got help when others who committed other heinous crimes weren't, why was my attacker getting off easy? I was also locked up in my own mind and had to go about society as if I were normal.

"So, he has to stay in this facility until people say he's better," I ask slowly.

"Yes, until doctors think he is able to go back into society without posing a threat," Sejin nods, unsure of how I was reacting.

"So, he's not getting punished?" I question, "he's getting the help he needs while I'm left to suffer from the consequences of his actions?" I continue asking, a little too calmly.

The boys look at each other and the managers. They were obviously a little confused at my calm reaction and unsure of how to move forward.

"Well, he isn't let free, he still has to do stuff in this facility I'm sure," Sejin answers hesitantly.

I kept thinking of the fact I was left with nothing from this court decision. He was getting pampered and helped in this facility and I had to continue hiding my pain and sleepless nights and continue acting like a perfect little idol.