People have always said that in your dreams, you either see the things you want to see the most or the things that you would never want to see. Or sometimes they don't make any sense.
I was in a dark room. It was pitch black and it was getting cold. It was getting more and more difficult for me to breath. Suddenly, i fell on my knees feeling nauseous. I have no idea what is going on. It is a dream, just a dream. But why does it actually hurt? Why does it feel like I am trapped and I will never be able to return into the light?
"I- is someone there?" I heard a trembling voice that was oddly familiar. I closed my eyes as my body shivered. All this is just a dream, nothing more nothing less.
"Help me. Please." It was an unconscious statement. I didn't meant to ask for help. It was just a dream, then why is it that I am asking for help? Why do I feel afraid. If I feel scared, how will I protect those around me? I stood up on my trembling feet and walked towards the source of the noise. If someone else was trapped in my dream, then it is my responsibility to help them, is it not? Maybe I can provide that child with some warmth.
As I kept walking and walking, it was getting brighter and brighter. But it had taken so much effort for me to walk that I have lost all my strength. I suddenly fell onto the ground, sweating profusely despite the cold. It was getting difficult to breath. I had a tired expression on my face, my eyebrows furrowed.
"Y/N L/N, get up. It's time for your school." I heard the voice of my mother, the mother I had in my old world. "Come on, I'll leave in a bit."
Straining my eyes open, I saw something like a window from where all the light had been coming from. Inside was me, the old me, the one with (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. The me who I couldn't help but pity.
She woke up, the seven year old me that is, and walked towards my then mother with small tippy-tappy feet. She had a huge smile on her face as she got ready for the day with thee help of her maids. She walked down the stairs, the frame changing and following her as she walked.
"Mama! Papa! Let's go to the playground in the evening." She said enthusiastically as she chewed her breakfast. I already know what's going to happen, then why is it that my heart is beating fast in anticipation? Why is it that I am hoping for a different outcome"
"You're too big to go to those childish playgrounds, Y/N. You will not go there anymore and work on your studies." I saw the little me's face drop. I saw her eyes fill up with tears but she said nothing. Her mother and father kissed her on either of her cheeks and walked away. Only then did the little girl let her tears fall.
Suddenly, there was another scenes on the screen. It was when I was twelve. I had a small smile on my face as I walked home from school. I was excited, so excited. I remember it to this day, the way I felt.
"Don't go...." I whispered lowly, my voice barely audible to myself. I don't want to see it all again.
I watched as the other me entered the house. "Mom, dad, today you guys need to come to watch me play the piano! You have no idea how much I have improved!"
"I have told your piano teacher that you will not come anymore. You have learned enough." Her smile dropped as she looked at her parents with wide eyes. I saw her take small, trembling steps towards her parents.
"B- but I wanted to learn more...." Her trembling voice made my heart ache.
"You need to focus more on your studies, Y/N. These things are just a distraction in your life." Though my old mother's voice was soft, her words pierced my heart as I recalled the day when the only thing that kept me sane was taken away from me. The younger me cried silently and ran up to her room.
