WILL YOU STAY? {c.t.h}

six: beach

june 30

instead of bonding with emma and luke, i decided to have some talk with ashton. he's with calum but i'm going to pretend he isn't there. he's just my brother from our mom but we still treat each other like real siblings.

"i'm so sorry for not telling you this. but you're right, i do have feelings for emma. i have never felt this way to a girl before. this is what you call 'love'. an amazing feeling, yeah, but without pain there is no love. it's not easy, i can't just move on that fast." i feel like hugging my brother after what he had said so i did. i'm so stupid for not noticing this before.

"you should at least say it to her so she would know the reason if ever you'd distance yourself from her."

"i did. but she didn't believe me because you know how i treat her, right? she said she liked me but too bad i guess i was too late. she didn't want to believe because i'm always acting a jerk to her ever since. she just said she thought i'm a cool guy for treating her bestfriend the way she wished i would treat her. i could do that. i could actually do more than that. you know that, right?" i have never seen ashton like this before so it was kind of surprising. i suck at comforting people and usually end up making them feel bad.

"yes, i do. but don't you think that she's already happy with luke?" i asked. i know what i said would make ashton more sad but i don't know what to say. ugh, screw feelings. they never did something good.

"i don't think she is. whenever we talk she'd always talk about ashton. she'd smile whenever i mention his name. she'll frown whenever she sees you talking to other girls. every time you talk to her she would smile like an idiot to me. when you ignore her, her whole day would already be ruined. what's funny is every time a guy kisses her, she would mention your name unconsciously. every little thing you do, whether intentional or not, she can't help but notice and appreciate all. even if you were being an asshole to her, she'd do an excuse as to why you did that. she's stupid to say you didn't mean it or did it purposely. can't you see the truth? are you blind? she liked luke because she thought she doesn't have a chance with you. she wanted you so badly. it's just that luke was there when you were not." calum explained leaving both ashton and i speechless.

i didn't even notice that all. i didn't even knew calum and emma were close. emma is my bestfriend! sure she said she thought my brother is hot but i didn't even thought that there's a potential of her liking ashton. i only notice just now and it all made sense. calum was right, all of this was true.

"what am I going to do?" ashton frantically asked. he keeps on pacing back and forth, nervously glancing at luke and alyssa and to us.

"tell her you love her." i blurted out.

"it's not that easy." ashton frowned at me and calum looked at me confusingly.

"i bet you it's not that easier knowing that luke had a plan to confess to emma right now. so if i were you, i would run there, explain everything and kiss the hell out of her. whether it's in front of luke or not. before it's too late." i patted his back and hugged him. " i know you'd do it right this time."

"wish me luck!" he grinned and immediately ran to emma and luke.

i sighed and sat on the ground. i know i did something wrong. very wrong. i have lead luke on and then ashton. i may be the cause of their ruined friendship or i'd end up one of them hating me or both of them hating me. i'm sure emma would be pissed at me. she didn't want to hurt anyone, that's the least thing she would ever do.

"don't blame all of this to yourself." calum whispered and hugged me. "stop being sad, it doesn't suit you. you look stupid."

i can't help but laugh a little. i could say now that finally i could tolerate his attitude.

"can we pretend we don't hate each other just for this day?" calum murmured and chuckled. i shrugged and rested my head on his shoulder.

"sure." i looked up at him and smiled. surprisingly, he was staring back at me too. i can't deny the fact that he's so incredibly handsome. That brown eyes of his gets me every time we argue. i wanted to touch his tattoo but nope, i'm not going to do that. that would be so awkward. he's so hot i can't breathe.

--

"as much as i hate to say this, i want to complain because you're really good at volleyball becca." calum whined as both ashton and michael agreed.

i was glad there's no more drama. luke is willing to let ashton and emma to be happy, he didn't blame me because he let me explain my side. he said it's not that deep, he's also not yet planning on asking emma to be his girlfriend. as for ashton and emma, they still are both awkward to each other but luke talked to them both and helped them learn about their true feelings. i didn't expect this to happen but thank god luke is such an understanding guy.

"i know, i'm great. thank you." i winked and ridiculously stretched my arms sideward and bowed.

"OH MY GOD!" michael cried. my eyes widened at the thought. i'm wearing a bikini, i tied my hair up so there was nothing to cover my chest obviously. i kind of panicked so i turned around and saw Ashton laughing because of my silliness.

"It's flat. I can't see a thing." calum lamely said and bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing.

"calum." i muttered to him as i pitifully looked at ashton and emma for some help.

i'm not skinny and i'm definitely not that sexy so i admit i am insecure of my body.

"actually calum you're wrong. it's not big nor too small. the perfect size for beautiful boobs." luke said making michael agree to him and calum groaned and kind of agreed anyway. disgusting horny teenagers.

"can we stop talking about my.... just ugh! stop this is so embarrassing." i buried my face in my hands and i could feel them playing once again while laughing at me.

"you're cute." Calum said and pinched my cheeks. i was so caught up by the action calum made that I didn't notice that the guys and emma were staring at us.

calum glanced to where i was looking and instantly blushed. i giggled because he was actually so red it feels like he was about to burst. okay kidding, i'm just amazed by the fact that calum is actually blushing.

"you owe me ten bucks loser! i told you the whole 'hating thing' was just a total cover up." emma smirked at ashton and laid his hand to him as a sign to give her the money. wow great.

"no, it's not what it looks like. calum has a girlfriend." i explained and asked calum for some help but he ignored me, still completely flustered. "we made a deal to pretend to not hate today so we wouldn't ruin your mood."

"that sucks because i thought you two looked good together, honestly." luke smiled at ashton and emma but not michael.

"though i hate to say this but i agree with luke. if i will be asked to who am i okay with dating my sister between my friends, i would say calum." ashton nonchalantly said and i was surprised because he mentioned about that 'bro code' about not dating sisters of friends. it was pretty obvious that he made that up so i could stop myself from having a crush to one of his friends. he didn't have to do that because his friends are not my type of guy.

"don't hate me calum but I think you two look good together compared to becca and you." michael said. oh, really?

"you're just jealous."calum playfully replied and laughed, "don't worry, you can have her. i don't need her, she's ugly and has a shitty attitude. nobody would even dare to like her. nobody wants to be her friend. no one. i know you guys are just forced to hang out with her just because she's ashton's sister. emma, you don't have to pretend that you can handle her. i know you're sick and tired of how she's acting. she's not cool, not hot. she's a loser. plus my girlfriend is way way way better than her anyway."

and with that, i slapped him hard on his right cheek. he earned another punch from ashton. i ran away while wiping away the stupid tears that is falling from my eyes.

i've received similar to these kind of harsh words before from different guys and also girls, some are worse but all of it never affected me. all of it didn't even made me waste a single tear. this was the first time i cried and I'm so confused as to why it hurts so much.