WILL YOU STAY? {c.t.h}

chapter 11: rude

we were all on a couch, squeezed together because i had requested it. hannah was with us, i invited her not calum so the boys wouldn't have a say in it. calum didn't even thank me, he literally groaned and didn't talk to me for the past 3 hours that we've watched a movie.

"guys it's past 1:30. can we eat lunch now?" i blocked the tv and they shoot me annoying stares, calum booing and throwing pillows to me and michael gave me a thumbs up because you know, food.

"becca, we just ate lunch an hour ago." hannah stated, making me roll my eyes. ijust imagined it, i wouldn't do that to her because she's too nice.

"but i'm hungry." i whined as hannah attempted to stand up but calum pulled her down.

"we don't care. go get yourself something to eat." he said expressionless and smirked. "maybe this is why your ex boyfriend broke up with you."

"how did you know?" i asked calmly. iwas dying inside, i'm so scared. it's as if we talk about him, he would come out of nowhere and kill me. he's been haunting me from the past and it's really affecting me.

"so that's what happened. i didn't know what really happened but i knew you had an ex- boyfriend, ashton told me. you must be so terrible to him that's why he got sick of it so he dumped you." that's wrong. very wrong. so much for a judgmental person.

"calum, stop." michael attempted to stop him but he just glared at him and told him to fuck off.

"i'll talk to him. can you give us a minute?" michael and ashton shot me a sympathetic look, as they knew about everything that really happened. i don't know why ashton felt the need to tell calum about this stuff but i'll let it pass. they didn't try to get in with the argument because they were very sure it would just be a total chaos if they did.  emma and luke was nowhere to be found while hannah is sitting on the couch, casually scrolling through her phone and eating popcorn. she had her headphones on so she doesn't know what's going on. michael grabbed her arm and they all exited.

"or maybe he got bored because you're a total loser that didn't want to suck his dîck. there's also a possibility that he cheated you. oh, i wonder why. he was the reason why you moved here to australia, right? you wanted to move on. did he beat the shit out of you or what?" he was enjoying this but I don't. he's too much.

"you know that I was joking, right? so stop crying." he headed towards me and i flinched at his touch. "tell me. did he rape you or abuse you? i don't want to pressure you or assume but i don't know, will you tell me?"

"you are fucking right, calum. he did abused and almost raped me. thank you so much for reminding me the things that i really tried hard to forget."
i ran away. it's because i freaked out. i was imagining the past, throwbacks, and all that i really don't want to remember. him touching me, him punching me on my stomach and slapping my cheeks. i was so dumb to let him do that to me, i should've stopped him at first. my visions were blurred because of the continuously tears streaming down my face that did not know that there's a big rock that was in front of me, it's as long as my knees and just as wide as my body.

"BECCA!" luke ran towards my direction and carried me bride-style. emma was wiping my tears and i was so thankful that she didn't ask too many questions. "how can't you not notice the rock? it's as big as you."

i attempted to look at my legs since it's hurting but emma stopped me.

"don't." emma warned. she knew me very well. But I still want to look.

"i'll be okay, i promise you. i won't panic." i assured her and she still blocked it. luke didn't know what was happening and he also wanted to look at it so he pulled emma's hands and that's when i see it.

blood. too much blood.

-----

"she has hemophobia! i think she has blood-injection-injury phobia but i'm not sure!" ashton yelled.

"who has hemophobia?" iasked groggily, attempting to sit up. i was in my room and they're all surrounding my bed. ashton and calum are the only ones who's standing while the others are staring at them intently. it's only then they noticed that i spoke up.

"what the fuck is a hemophobia?" luke asked, ignoring my question. they ignored him as well and just looked at me. what is going on?

"fear of penguins. hemmo- phobia." calum joked and they all laughed but glared afterwards at him. it made me giggle too.

"irrational fear of blood. it results to fainting. i have that one unfortunately. " i grumbled and was about to stand up and remove my blanket when a pair of hands stopped me. calum.

"becca, please. don't. you'll regret it. it's about hemophobia. get it?" i slowly nodded. i was injured and i'm sure it's not the blanket that is covering the lower part of my left leg.

i really have no idea as to what happened earlier.

"can you guys let us talk private? i won't be harsh and hurt her again, i promise." calum says seriously.

"i'm so sorry."

that's when it hit me. memories of what happened earlier started to strike me. i think i'm having a panic attack.

"c-calum. help..." he stood up and just hugged me.

"i don't know how to deal with this and i didn't knew it was that serious, i thought you're just overreacting and ashton's exaggerating but i need you to breathe slowly. inhale and exhale. this might sound stupid and irrelevant but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. don't think about what happened earlier before you passed out, think about happy moments." he whispered, running his hands up and down my back in attempt to calm me down.

it was working. i did as what he had told me. i was thinking about happy thoughts and i was thinking what was happening right now.

"are you alright now?" he asked, he's still hugging me and my face was buried at his chest and he smelt good, really good. this whole crushing thing is slowly freaking me out. i nodded slowly and he pulled away and smiled. i felt disappointed that I lost touch of him but he hugged me again. that's more like it.

"so as i was saying, i'm so sorry."

"calum, it's easy to forgive but i can't continue on dealing with this every time you fucked up. you can't just try to be nice one day and the next day you'll be a total assholè. this is the reason why i doubted at your attempt of being nice to me on the other day. if you wanted to be rude all the way, fine. if you wanted to be nice, then great. stop being so unpredictable."

"that's why I'm making a promise. i don't want to be rude anymore. i want to show you the real me." he sighed and i escaped from his warm embrace.

"are you fully aware that you're making a promise? you can't take it back once you've done it?" i raised my eyebrows at him and he nods eagerly.

"i swear."

"don't swear! make a promise." i demanded.

"i promise. now come on, give me a hug. you're a great hugger, you're like my dog, the stuffed teddy bear one. " i smirked at his remark. he's so cute. this side of him is just too adorable. though i kinda missed the rude one. i want to slap my face for being so confusing. i know this side of him won't stay longer, he won't be rude but he wouldn't be this sweet to me when we're not alone.

he doesn't like seeing us being friends in public that's why he's being rude to me. why would he even do that?

i'm still glad he didn't talk about my ex. i guess he learned his lesson.