Behind The Lights (Montereal Series # 4)

BTL29

BTL29

I would have those breakdowns once in a while when something triggers me again. The knocks on the door, the bed moving and when the night comes... everything that happened that night that broke me completely comes back.

Sometimes when I hear party music, I just start to cry and crumble down. Maski ang ilaw na umiikot ay nakakapagpaiyak sa akin. What I lost that night was not simply the shame that years has brought to me, but including myself that I am still trying to regain day by day.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung paano ko ihahandle ang ganong sitwasyon. There are moments that I couldn't handle it, but in the end I manage to regain myself. Ang hirap... at ayoko ring mahirapan pa sina Mommy kaya pinili kong gawin ito mag-isa.

"You look skinnier day by day, kumakain ka pa ba?" Rush asked when we were asked to start taping. Sabi ko hindi niya na ako kailangan sunduin, pero ginawa niya pa rin.

"I have my monthly diet," I replied to him. "Let's go. Baka mamaya mapagalitan pa tayo."

I heard Mommy's heels clicking from upstairs. Mabilis siyang bumaba at lumapit sa amin.

"Anak! Are you sure? Talagang magtataping ka kasama si..." she couldn't even say his name. Mommy thinks anything related to the Bradfords can trigger me. Kaya naman ganoon niya nalang iwasan ito.

"Yes, mommy..." I held her hand. "Don't worry. I can do this!"

"Anak, pag nalaman ng Papa mo 'to." Ngumuso si Mommy.

I sighed. "I'll talk to him. Don't worry anymore, Mommy. Take care of Carter. Your daughter is old enough to handle herself." I kissed her cheeks and waved good bye.

"I love you, baby! Ingat ka, ah? If you need Mommy, you can call me anytime! Kahit nasa store ako, iiwanan ko para sayo!"

I chuckled. "Mom, I'm fine!"

Pero sa totoo lang kabado pa rin ako. The announcement about this project hasn't been made because they all wanted it to be a surprise.

Legion did a good job covering up my past controversies. Sa ngayon, naalala pa rin siya ng ilan but not as much as when it went out back then. It was months of torture for me.

"Cute ni Tita, Mommy is like that when it comes to Ate Mistize too." ani Rush nang makapasok na kami sa kotse.

"Oh, yeah. I heard Ate Mistize gave birth. How is she?" Mistize is Rush's eldest sister. Ang kaibigan ni Tria na si Miriella naman ang bunso nila.

Nagbuntong-hininga si Rush. "She's having postpartum stress... hindi ko na rin maintindihan si ate. Everything is overwhelming for her, at least nandun ang tatay ng baby para sa kanya."

I smiled. "That's good..."

Hindi naman gaanong kalayuan ang venue dahil sa isang high school ito. The story starts at a high school setting. Scenes muna namin nina Cloud at Rush ang uunahin.

The story is basically starting with Trisha, Austin and Enzo's friendship. Trisha is Enzo's girl best friend and ex-girlfriend. Si Austin, barkada ni Enzo na nagkagusto kay Trisha.

I didn't expect that I'd have a lot of scenes with Cloud because of this. Sinusubukan ko na nga siyang iwasan pero kusa pa rin akong nilalapit dito.

Pagdating namin, inaayusan na si Cloud sa gilid. He saw the two of us enter as the make up artists assist me and gestured me to sit beside him. Nakauniform siya at mukhang handa na para sa scene.

He had his hair dyed to a darker shade of brown. He doesn't wear contacts anymore, dahil mas naging kilala na siya na isang actor dito na kulay abo ang mga mata. His features cannot lie completely.