Holding you like this

Hopeful

Nick awoke the next morning to Charlie not in bed and got worried. He slid out of bed, rubbing his eyes, knocking on the bathroom door, opening it to Charlie sitting on the bathroom floor, making little flowers out of paper "Good morning." "Good morning, what's this?" "For you, my love." "Charlie, thank you." He walked over to him until he could press his forehead against Charlie's shoulder. Something inside of Charlie's chest relaxed in that moment and gently brushed the blonde's hair out of his face, pressing a soft kiss to his nose as he looked up, blushing "Want a tea?" "I'd love one thank you." The brunette made his way downstairs as Nick followed. 

The two got in the kitchen as the blonde climbed up on the counter, swinging his legs back and forth "Do you want to relax today or go out as it's pretty warm?" "Stay in but sit in the garden." "Of course, do you want me to get the pool out?" "Yes please, I got something from Primark when we went separate ways around Bluewater." "Do you want to show me?" "Not yet, when we go outside." "Of course bubba." Charlie made them both tea, bringing them over, as he lifted his teacup and clinked it with Nick's before collapsing into giggles. Their laughter rang throughout the house.

The two moved to outside until they both heard a knock on the door. The brunette got up, walking through to open the door and saw a note on the mat, he knelt down, picking it up 'Charlie, if your reading this, I'm probably lying to you when I mean that I didn't love you, I did, I was so scared of hiding us and with me trying to figure out my sexuality, it was even harder for us to hide. Yours truly, Ben Hope.' He closed the door, sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, ripping it up to shreds, walking back through, putting it in the bin "Who was that?" "A note from Ben." "Your ex?" "Yep, he apparently still loves me, I ripped it up, I love you more." "And I love you too." They both leaned in and pressed their foreheads together. Nick brushed his lips against his, pulling back to slide under his arms "Would you mind getting the pool set up?" "Of course not." "Thank you." "It's alright, do you want to show me something?" He blushed "Just don't get turned on." "I won't." "Promise?" "I promise, go upstairs."

The blonde ran upstairs to the bedroom, closing the door behind him, starting to feel insecure and moved over to bed, sitting down, legs crossed. 10 minutes later, Charlie came upstairs "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He whimpered, hiding more under the covers, eyeing a sharpener. Charlie went into the drawers which had their colouring supplies in, taking the sharpener out "Please tell me you haven't.." He looked away "You've self harmed?" The blonde hid his face to hide his tears "I'm not mad, just in shock because I used to and now your doing it." "I-I'm sorry, I just kept having my e-eyes on the blade that you kept." "Hand it over." Nick's hand moved from under the duvet, handing it to Charlie "Thank you. Where did you cut?" He shook his head and lost it, bursting into tears. Charlie wrapped his arms around him as he hugged back, crying into his chest.

Charlie rubbed his back as he looked up, eyes red raw from crying "Did you do it?" "Was tempted." "Shh, do you want to get ready and go downstairs?" "Yeah, I do, but in a minute," "Of course, baby. Do you want to show me?" He nodded, getting out of bed, going into the wardrobe, getting it out "Go and put it on and come and sit here." He patted his lap as the blonde walked into the bathroom to change "Charlie, baby?" "Yeah, what's up?" "Can you go in my drawer, the bottom one, there's a pair of blue shorts in there?" "Do you want them?" "Yes please." Charlie looked through Nick's drawers, finding them, handing them to Nick, who pulled them on, buttoning them up, putting on the floral kimono, walking out of the bathroom, walking in the bedroom, sitting down on Charlie's lap.

Charlie ran his fingers down Nick's chest "You look beautiful, are you wearing the bottoms underneath?" "Yeah." Charlie unbuttoned his shorts, looking at the floral print "You know what my next plan is." "What is it?" "The planning of our future, I was thinking to get everything removed that you have, but on my body, that's why I ran off upstairs as it felt so insecure." "Any letters from the hospital?" "Yeah, I got a letter from the hospital saying when I'm ready I can book for bottom surgery." "When you want to book it?" "Maybe in a few weeks?" "Yeah of course, I'm really proud of you." The blonde blushed, hiding his face "I fell in love with you, the minute we bet and what I mean by you I mean who you are. I didn't fall in love with you because of your body or looks. I fell in love with your laugh, voice and I fell in love with the way you treat me and love me, I love you and you deserve the whole world."