𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 ➳ 𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐳𝐢𝐞

fourteen.

[ lowercase intended. ]
-

1 week after the break up.

mackenzie

"losing him was blue,
like i'd never knew..

missing him was dark gray,
all alone...

forgetting him was like,
trying to know somebody
you never met..

but loving him was red."

why does taylor swift's songs constantly have a different feel to it?

i couldn't stop listening to her songs,
especially this song red.

i suppose what others say is true.

when you're listening to a music,
you know it'd be amazing since the lyrics are insightful and make you grasp everything you're going through.

and this song struck a chord with me.

my relationship with johnny was like all of these different colors: blue, dark gray, and red.

i mean, i'm sure we've all been there, right?

and yes,
love is a vivid and lovely experience.
you adore the person with all of your heart.

breaking up is blue, just like the song.

you reflect back and wonder why.
what went wrong, exactly?

missing him was dark gray.
you simply sit in your room alone.
remembering all of the bright, joyful, and colorful things you did with him,
even if you were both thousands of miles apart.

forgetting about him?
it's true that if i try to forget about someone who is very important to me, i will fail.
that person made a big difference in my life,
it's the same as if i know somebody i'd never met.

do you get what i mean?
it's even more difficult to recognize
someone on the street,
when you don't know anything about them...
that made a strong impact on me.

now might be the time, my mind tells me.
i had no choice but to let him go.
how can i?

it's impossible for me to move on from him...
it's simpler to say than to accomplish.
i loved him so much.
why was it more difficult to love someone
than it was to lose them?

they say,
"in the end, the good people always win."
yet, in the end,
i subsequently lost.
perhaps i was never the good person?

i've always believed,
love is thought to be the most powerful force on the planet.
and it is.
it is capable of destroying you,
as well as to break you.
that's exactly what it did to me.

in the most terrible and powerful ways, love has ruined me.

-

"hey, mack, mind if i help you?" maddie asked as i was putting up pictures in my room.

i was bored and had nothing better to do, so i decided to hang photos on the walls of my room.