its the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine) // ian malcolm

i. that's great, it starts with an earthquake

"Oi! On your right!" Ronnie screeched from the front seat of her tan jeep. 

"I see 'im!" 

Ronnie pushed harder on the gas and honked the horn into the din of pounding animal hooves. The stampeding rhinos veered left, toward Betty, who honked at the animals as well. 

"Let's go!" Ronnie shouted. 

"Move! C'mon!" 

The rhinos, horns flying and heads rearing, snorted and ran with a single hive mind towards the gap in the concrete fence. 

"That's right! Almost there!" 

They turned slightly right in Ronnie's direction, and the oncoming wall started to get bigger and bigger as the rhinos' trajectory got further and further away from the gap, and Ronnie had half a second to decide if she wanted her dignity or her animals to make it out alive. She started to flash the headlights on the jeep, honked the horn frantically and pulled out the megaphone from under the passenger's seat. Dignity be damned. She switched it on and started to sing. "Out of the sea! Wish I could be! Part of that world!!" 

She held the note in a miserable soprano and the cracks in her voice were enough to send the huge, heavily armored animals careening left to the hole in the fence just in time to avoid a world of hurt and cracked horns. 

Ronnie spun the vehicle to a stop and pulled it in front of the gap in the fence.

"Fuck yeah!" Betty shouted. 

"Whoo!" Ronnie yelled into the microphone. She jumped out of the jeep and ran to hug Betty, who lifted her up and spun her around. 

Betty put her down and laughed, pushing lightly on Ronnie's shoulder. "Damn mate! Who knew your singin' was so bad it could literally redirect stampedes!"

"Don't even start." Betty grinned and Ronnie pulled out her walkie talkie. She switched it on as she climbed into the passenger's side of Betty's jeep. "Hi, this is Dr. Veronica Aaker and Betty Brown. The rhinos are secured-"

"We fuckin' crushed those rhin-" Ronnie smothered her hand over Betty's mouth.

"Ignore her. I wan' the repair team out within the hour."

"Of course. Is there anything else, ma'am?"

"Ask her if they got donuts this morning!" Betty said, starting the engine and pulling the jeep away from the rhino paddock, where the animals were just beginning to settle down. Ronnie hoped they didn't hurt her jeep. That thing was like her baby. 

Ronnie turned back to the walkie talkie. "Yeah. Did Mark get donuts yet?"

There was a muffled conversation from the other side before the woman spoke to them again. "No ma'am."

"Tell 'im to. And get someone to start the coffee machine."

"Yes ma'am." 

Ronnie clicked the walkie talkie off and stuck it back into her back pocket. The jeep bumped over the yellowing grass, and Ronnie pulled her hat down over her face to shield against the rising sun. 

It was a beautiful sight in the morning, when the sun crested over the plains and the few free-standing trees were illuminated with gold. The Harambe Wildlife Reserve was truly a paradise. A maddening, terrifying paradise to be sure, but a paradise nonetheless.

Sure, you dealt with stuff like wild animals trying to run you over and the constant threat of death looming over you, but you also formed lifelong bonds and all that good stuff. Plus, it payed really fucking well.

Ronnie had worked at Harambe for nearly five years. She had baked in the Australian sun that first year, fresh out of College, completely unprepared, and sure that a PhD in zoology was enough to secure her control over this place. Holy shit, had she been wrong. A zoo would have been manageable. But no, people didn't like zoos anymore. They weren't enough. They didn't get you close. The new thing was reserves, like this one, where you could take a tour and see the animals in their natural habitats. And of course, Ronnie had not been able to settle for old-fashioned animal interactions. No, She had needed the newest, freshest thing, and she had wanted to be at the top. 

It had been her dream, actually, since she had heard about it on the news as a scrawny 12-year-old. It still was her dream. Harambe Wildlife Reserve, animals in general, they were worth every second. 

The jeep puttered along over the fields, and Ronnie and Betty waved to a passing tour bus. "How long do you think it'll take 'em to fix up the rhino paddock?" Betty said, picking at her chin.

"It should be pretty damn fast. We've 'ad the construction team on hold all week."

"Aren't you in charge of supervising it?"

"Yeah."

Betty pulled onto the dirt road that led to the lab. "Why'd they even do that? It's not your department."

Ronnie shrugged. "Eh, they wanted someone who knew the rhinos, and I wanted to look into their behavior. For our common ancestors research."

"What, the thing about rhinos and elephants coming from dinosaurs?" Betty shook her head. "You gotta let it go, Ronnie."

"They have the same skin, it's not a coincidence! You can judge me all you want, but we're this close-" Ronnie showed a tiny space between her fingers. "-to figurin' out the genome."

"It just doesn't make sense. My gators 'ave more in common with dinos than your rhinos."

"Dinosaurs didn't really have scales, babe. You gotta move past the kindergarten mentality."

"You're crazy as shit," Betty murmured. "Crazy as shit."

"Betty you're just as crazy as me, don't lie to yourself."

"Crazy as shit," Betty said again, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.

"Ah, come on." Ronnie smiled and put her feet up on the dash. "You know you love it."

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so off we go! I have a couple chapters written for this fic, but knowing me, the hyperfixation will wear off and it will sit here until it gets rediscovered. Chapters should get put out twice a week, but you're gonna have to be patient with me.  i would really love to at least finish the first movie with this. i have no idea where it's going, but that's part of the fun, isn't it? thanks for reading!

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