Playing For Keeps

14-Stargazing

Casey

My feelings for Rowan were growing more complicated as more days passed.

I knew I should've pushed whatever I was feeling aside but I just couldn't

It was as if there was some invisible pull that kept bringing me back towards him no matter what we did.

This summer felt like it was coming to an end way too soon and I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Rowan, not yet.

Deep down I don't think I would ever be ready but I didn't want to read too much into it.

For now we had until the end of the month and I was going to make it count.

"What are you doing?" Rowan comes over to me as I stare out the window in the kitchen.

I pull my lower lip into my mouth before releasing it.

"Have you ever gone stargazing?" I ask, Rowan.

It was getting dark out but after we finished with the cabinets, Rowan and I had dinner and watched tv.

He shakes his head, "You?"

I nod, "I used to do it all the time in high school. I would climb onto the roof of my house and just lay there, staring at the night sky. Sometimes I'd even convince Fallon to come up with me and we'd just lay there."

Rowan comes to stand beside me, his hand dangerously close to mine on the counter.

"We could go up there and do that now." He offers.

I turn to look at him, "You want to?" I can't help but ask.

He smiles, that sweet dimply smile, "Of course."

Stepping back he extends a hand out to me, "Lets go stargazing, Case."

Rowan takes the ladder out to the back and sets it against the edge of the roof.

"Ladies first." He says, gesturing towards the ladder and I start to climb, hoping I am giving Rowan a show.

I have on short jean shorts that leave nothing to the imagination.

I feel the ladder move and I know he's climbing up behind me.

Finding a good spot I lay down on my back and Rowan comes to lay beside me.

The air is hot but not to the point where I think I might start sweating.

The two of us lay there for a while in comfortable silence.

Neither of us break it even as I feel Rowan's finger graze mine tentatively.

I brush my finger against his, and slowly slide my fingers over until they rest above his.

He makes the move of intertwining them while our gaze never leaves the sky.

"You know, you were the first person who's ever shown up for my games." He tells me and my heart clenches at his words.

"My parents only did because the felt obligated to, same with Eric. Girls in college showed up because they thought I would pick them out in the crowd and hook up with them but no one truly showed up to support me. They were always there for the Monroe last name."

His admittance hurts for the boy Rowan was. Who he still is, fighting for someone to choose him.

"Growing up I always thought there had to be something wrong with me. I mean what kind of guy can say his whole family was supportive and there for his brother but not him." He lets out a self deprecating laugh.

I squeeze his hand, "Rowan,"

"I never thanked you for going to my game that night, Case." He finally looks down at me, but I was already looking up at him.

I give him a sad smile, "I wish I could've gone to more."

He shrugs, "It doesn't matter now."

"Yeah it does." I tell him, "You deserve people who show up for you, Ro."

The fact that his whole family treated him like he didn't even matter hurt more than I could ever admit.

Sure, my dad wasn't a good dad but the rest of my family more than made up for it.

Having a support system is vital and the fact that for so long Rowan didn't have that... didn't they see how lucky they were to have Rowan?

My thoughts snag on one sentence he just said to me.

Sitting up, I keep my hand in his as I peer down at him, "There is nothing wrong with you, Rowan."

He looks at me as if he doesn't believe me and fuck his family for ever making him insecure.

"You're one of the best guys I've ever met." I admit to him. Not to inflate his ego but to help restore the confidence his family destroying in him.

"I mean you're helping me remodel this house even though no one forced you to. You're helping Lennox coach kids this summer instead of taking the extra time on the ice. You help random old women you hardly know when they ask for things and don't get annoyed when they come up and chat with you. I need you to know that there has never been and will never be something wrong with you."

Rowan sits up on his elbows, "Why do you have to say those things to me, huh?"

I shrug, "because they're the truth."

He shakes his head, "Not according to my family."

"Well, babe, your family kind of sucks." I tell him, truthfully, "Because if they can't see what an amazing guy you are then there is something wrong with them."

He eyes me like he's seeing me for the first time and it causes me to squirm.

"What?" I ask, feeling a little self conscious myself.

I bet it's what I just told him. I didn't mean tot insult his family, well I kind of did, but I didn't mean to make him upset.

"Rowan I-" Before I can finish my sentence his lips are on mine.

Let me repeat that, Rowan's lips are on mine.

Snapping out of it, I kiss him back like I've dreamed of doing since saw him in just his boxer briefs not that long ago.

He kisses me again, his free hand coming to rest on my waist.

I don't think I have ever been kissed like this.

It's not demanding but gentle. Like he's getting his first taste of something and wants to savor it.

I scoot closer to him, "Ro." I mumble softly and he bites my lower lip.

"Case." He says, softly before kissing me again.

I don't think I've ever kissed a guy under the stars before.

I think there's a moment in everyones life where they feel a sense of peace. Maybe it's laying in bed reading a good book as the rain patters against the glass or maybe when it's finally cold enough to wear sweaters and drink hot chocolate near the fireplace.

Mine is kissing Rowan Monroe.

I kiss him one more time before pulling away.

"He never deserved you." Rowan says and I lay back down, resting my head on his chest.

"He never deserved you either." I tell him.

The truth was Eric brought us together for the first time but we found our ways back to each other on our own.

Grandma Jo warned me about fate and I finally think I understood what she was saying.

Fate had a funny way of doing things but I wasn't going to look to closely into it.

Not tonight.