Playing For Keeps

21-It's Complicated

Casey

Tonight was going to be trouble. 

Since the moment we have stepped into the club, Fallon watches Rowan and I like a hawk, her eyes letting me know what she's thinking.

I hate the unknown when it comes to Rowan and I but it's been fun to pretend that doesn't exist but of course Fallon is here to remind me that it does. 

And that it fucking sucks. 

It's not like the summer will last forever and eventually we'll have to face reality but I was hoping to push it off for a while. 

At one point Rowan disappears to use the restroom and that's when Fallon chooses her moment to pounce. 

"Ok, when is that man proposing?" she asks and I nearly spit out my drink. 

She shrugs at my reaction, "It's an honest question. Rowan isn't ugly and girls here have been drooling over him all night but his eyes, not once, have left you. It looks like as if he feels if he looks away for just a moment you'll vanish or something."

I gap at her, "I think you're delusional."

She snorts, "One of us is delusional about this whole thing and it isn't me." 

I give her a confused look and she rolls her eyes. 

"Babe, I love you but open your eyes. That boy would do anything you ask him to do without a single thought or question."

I shake my head, "You're wrong."

That's when Rowan starts to walk back over to us, his eyes are trained on me and he's smiling. 

"Ok, then ask him something and see his answer." Fallon offers before he gets close enough to hear. 

I don't like playing Fallons games but I also want to prove her wrong. 

Playing a hand on his forearm I give it a squeeze as I look up at him. 

"Hey, Ro? I'm not really feeling the drink I got, do you think we could switch?" I ask, knowing that Rowan isn't the biggest fan of fruity drinks. 

I wait for him to tell me so but he nods and pecks my lips before taking my drink from me. 

"Of course, sweetheart." Then I watch as he actually takes a sip. 

Fallon coughs from behind me, "Told you so." 

I turn and glare at her, "Shouldn't you be dancing with your boyfriend?" I ask her and she points to where he's taking shots with Lennox at another table. 

The moment Lennox saw Leo it was as if he developed a man crush on him, which according to Rowan isn't new. 

He's basically dragged Leo along all night, taking shots and dancing with girls. Leo respectfully dances a distance away from the girls and I continually see him checking with Fallon if she's fine with it. 

"He's still with his little boyfriend." She says making us laugh at the way her face scrunches up. 

"So, Rowan," Fallon starts, something sparkling in her eyes as she taps her fingers against the counter top, "What are your plans after this summer."

I try to elbow her but she dodges me. 

I see what she's trying to do and all it's going to manage is to make things awkward between Rowan and I. 

He's either going to feel pressured to say something he doesn't mean or he'll say something that ends up hurting me. 

I watch as Rowan shrugs, running a hand through his messy brown hair, "Uhm, I'm hoping to get settled back at my place before training starts."

She rolls her eyes, "You know what I meant."

I manage to elbow her this time, "Don't be a bitch." I tell her. 

She just shrugs it off, "I'm just asking your boy toy here some questions, babe. It's not the serious."

"It's fine." Rowan tells her, "And I really can't answer your question, it's complicated."

Complicated was one word to describe what was going on between us. 

I didn't want to push Rowan for more than he was ready for especially when I wasn't completely sure myself. 

Sure, I wanted a future with Rowan but things were never black and white. 

We have so many skeletons in our past and I don't know if we can overcome those.

There is also the fact that Rowan is so much younger than me. Sure it's only four years but I think. about how I was at twenty two and even if I was ready to settle down was a truly ready or just went with it because I thought thats what I was supposed to do?

I think it's the whole getting married after such a short time now. 

Some people judge you for waiting years, claiming if you truly loved someone you would be married by now. 

Was that how I felt with Eric?

We hadn't been together for a decade but it had been a while, enough for me to close out the idea of all other men except him. 

What if I did that again with Rowan and got burned? I don't think I could handle that happening again. 

Especially because this is Rowan. 

Fallon scoffs, "What's so complicated? You're single, she's single, you guys only live a few hours away. What's stopping you guys?"

Before either of us can answer the sound of retching fills my ears and we turn to see Leo emptying the contents of his stomach into the potted plant beside him. 

Lennox is busy rubbing his back and Fallon scolds Lennox, "Hey, hands to yourself pretty boy."

"He doesn't drink much." I tell Rowan as we head over towards the sight before us. 

What I said to Rowan was true, Leo wasn't a big drinker so I kind of figured he'd be a lightweight, especially with Lennox around. 

I'm sure he could chug is body weight in beer and not even pass out. 

We decide to cut the night short and Fallon and Leo head back to their hotel but not before Fallon promising we'll do something tomorrow and that she hadn't forgotten about our conversation. 

The über drops Lennox of next who stumbles away and then I figure we'll go back to my house but then Rowan tells the drive to stop at his apartment. 

When we pull up outside I patiently wait for Rowan to ask me to head upstairs with him. 

Instead however he leans over and kisses my cheek. 

"I'll see you tomorrow, baby."

And then he's out the door leaving me sitting in the back of an uber dumbfounded. 

What the hell was that?