The Adventures of Wesley and Philip plus Gabby

Chapter 5 Answerific

Let me just say that I was not very happy when we began our chase after Gabby. I was pissed to the point where I just wanted to let off some steam by killing some bad guys. Sadly, there was no one around for me to kill, except Poofy. The temptation was too much for me, but I tried my best to resist. Anyways, after a couple of seconds of warping, I realized that I had no idea where Gabby might have gone to.

"Hey guys, this may not be something you want to hear, but we're a tiny bit lost," I said, slowly turning around to face the others. The expression on their faces wasn't very comforting.

"Wesley, you've had this van for almost two years. Why the hell weren't you able to figure out how to track another person using the seeking button?" Sarah asked me, making me feel somewhat hurt.

"I didn't know we even had a tracking button in this van. It's not like I'm just gonna push every button to see what they'll do," I replied.

"Here, this should help you out," Jimmy said as he handed me the owner's manual from the back. I can't believe we had the owner's manual the entire time. I flipped through the pages to see if I could find a page on identifying the buttons. Finally, I found a page that explains what each buttons does. The page even had a drawing that mapped out each individual button.

"Here goes nothing," I said as I pressed a green button. Suddenly, the van started to go bezerk, spinning around and flipping us all over the van.

"Oh no, wrong button!" I exclaimed.

"This isn't what I wanted to do today!" Philip yelled from the back.

"Wesley, I'm going to kill you!" Sarah screamed at me.

"I want my blanket!" Jimmy said, bouncing off the walls, literally.

"I wish I was in a place filled with hot chicks. I wish I was in a place filled with hot chicks. I wish I was in a place filled with hot chicks!" Poofy repeated to himself as he flew throughout the van. All of a sudden, the van exited the warp tunnel and the van began to fall down through the air.

"Where's an escape pod when you need it?" Philip cried just as everything went black.

. . . . . . .

"Wesley you fat bastard, wake up!" someone yelled into my ear. I opened my eyes to find Poofy standing on my face.

"Poofy, get your ugly ass off of me," I said as I picked him up and threw him away from me. I stood up to find the others crowded around the van. They all looked very confused.

"Guys, what's wrong?" I asked.

"The van is broken and we keep hearing a strange voice," a voice said. I turned around to find out where the voice was coming from, but there was no one around but us.

"Don't ask any questions. If you do, the voice will answer your question in the most annoying way possible," Sarah explained to me.

"Really?" I asked before covering my mouth.

"Yes," a disembodied voice answered. This was going to get annoying real quick.

"Maybe we shouldn't ask for anything," Philip said slowly.

"Good idea. The less we say, the better," I replied. I realized that I was going to have to keep my mouth shut. I definitely don't want the answer to questions that I really don't need the answers to. Wait a minute, I have an idea.

"Where are we?" I asked out loud.

"This is Answerific, the place where the answer is always given," the voice replied. I saw in the other's faces that they knew exactly what I was thinking.

"Where is our sister?" Philip asked the voice.

"Your sister is headed to the Cantahoe universe. She plans on destroying a machine that makes all life in that universe possible," the voice answered.

"That's doesn't sound very good," Sarah said.

"Can I have my blanket?" Jimmy asked hopefully.

"No," said the voice. It looked like Jimmy was about to start crying.

"One last question, how do we fix the van?" Sarah asked curiously.

"You must use the code," The voice answered.

"What does that mean?" Philip asked.

"It means you need to use the code," the voice replied.

"The code? What exactly does that... wait a minute; I think I know what the voice is talking about!" I exclaimed. I moved towards the van and began to say some words. "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start," Suddenly, a flash of lightning struck my hand. For some weird reason, it didn't hurt at all. All it did was tickle. When the lighting disappeared, I felt something heavy in my hand. I looked down to see a rusty old wrench. As I moved it closer to my face so that I could examine it, Poofy ran towards me, jumped up, and stole the wrench out of my hands.

"Are you freaking kidding me? You said that stupid combination of words just to have a rusty tool appear in a blaze of lighting? Do you see what the hell is wrong with this situation? "Poofy screamed at me.

"No," the disembodied voice said.

"I swear to God-," Poofy yelled to the voice

"Poofy just calm down and-," I began to say.

"No! I will not calm down. This is the most useless thing I have ever seen in my life. This isn't going to fix the van. This is pointless. It would be better if I threw this at the van. Speaking of which..." Poofy said and before any of us knew what was happening, Poofy threw the wrench at the van, which ricocheted off of the van into his face. Poofy fell to the ground with a tiny thud.

"Poofy are you okay?" I asked. Before I could check on him, I watch before my very eyes as the van fixed itself up. While the others were watching the van return to normal, Jimmy and I went over to help Poofy.

"Hello my furry friend is you okay?" Jimmy asked Poofy, who was waking up.

"Well howdy friends, my name is Poofy Manson Zuckerberg Bundy Fluffington. How are you gentlemen doing today?" Poofy said in a weird cowboy accent.

"Jimmy, I think Poofy is broken," I said to the robot.

"Is that really a bad thing?" Jimmy asked me as I picked Poofy up and headed towards the van.