Sense & Sensibilities

Past, Present (and Future?)- Shree and Liza (Riya)

Riya used to think she was not a people's person- things like that creeps in when life is spent all alone for a good two decades. She never made any friends, never had anyone close to share her day. Then she came to ETF, and she was surrounded by people. People who cared, who listened and in turn shared their stories. People who taught her meaning about life and other things.

Riya might not know much about people, but she knew from the strained relationship with her Mother that there are some complex ones which may never solve. (Her mother came to know about the Job offer from abroad and there is daily pressure from her side to take it up. At times she wonders if this is her way to send her away, after all going by her past, she never really like her much. That thought just saddens her further. She never knew what wrong she did for this lifetime of iciness from her mother.) Apart from ETF, her last normal interaction was with Dustin sir, strictly work basis where at times he slips up about his seemingly normal life. In work, there are various relationship- the bitterness between the two senior which stems out from some old resentment, the close friendship between Shree and Patil with their own secrets, Aisha and the team, and lastly Shree and Liza. Ages ago she had overheard a conversation and before that she had seen the mark, so she knows on surface level what's going on. But relationships aren't that simple to be defined by a random mark. People are complex, timings are wrong.

On a particularly bad day when Liza kept tried to discuss about an ongoing case, with little success as she kept losing track of her words, Riya got to know about their story.

She keeps wondering why she sees things like this, or gets hint of their personal life when she tries so hard to not show her own.

"Today is a particularly hard day." Liza gave up with a sigh, pulled out her gloves and sat on a nearby stool. The story flew freely, with no interruption from the other woman. Maybe that's what she wanted, a soundboard to let it out.

"I think you have a hint about him and I? I . . . well at first I thought its silly. College romance, new bonds and coming of age, right? But nope, destiny had another way. He wanted to work in google you know?" She smiled sadly, "I always wanted to get into forensic, he said it was too gore. Then I got an opportunity to volunteer with UN in Afghanistan. He did not like it. There was no coming back from that. Seeing him here was quite a shock. I . . I try every day, you know. Not to start it again. Just be normal. He don't even look me in the eye." She shook head, "Who am I kidding? I want him back. But he don't want it. Sometimes life throws such curveball, or maybe it was me. Do you think I should apologize?"

She did not answer. She always wanted to get into criminology, and tried a different career path on her mother's insistence which did not work out. Despite the suffocating atmosphere at home, Riya can't say she regret anything, or will undo anything. Study has become her solace, and maybe it has become Liza's solace too. One should not apologize for being themselves.

She wondered if there are soulmates who met, then drifted apart, never to be one again.

The ETF men are loud and quiet in their support at the same time. ACP Rawte punches people, yet look at the grieving families with sadness in his eyes. Rathore came to police station in his night dress and sat beside her in silence, and Patil offered to become a pillar of support, without interfering much. Shree don't let people in easily. Even after working for months, there are days he will pass by her in hallway and it will be like they don't even know each other. He will call her using nickname, chastise her for extra sugar cubes, glare when she sells herself short, but he never laughs with her like he does with Patil. With liza, there is always this coldness- no words, not looking at her face, nothing more than a strictly professional relationship. At times it slips, but he is so good at masking it back together that it gives other whiplash. Maybe he did not have that fond look when he was looking at Liza. Maybe it was an imagination.

Months later, Dr. Mukherjee will be placed under a clinical trial who's future is unforeseeable, and Shree would pull Liza for a hug. When Riya left, he would drop by her lab for collecting reports, talk about mundane stuff just to give her company. Liza would take it as a hint for forgiveness, he would be in a constant battle with himself- is it pity or affection?

Till how long you can hold a grudge for being left behind?

Till how long can you wait for forgiveness?

(these questions will be for two other people too.)