until the end || wolfstar || marauders

chapter nineteen

TW - Death of a loved one

"Remus, Remus wake up dear."

Remus groaned as he awoke on the floor of the shrieking shack. As he opened his eyes and regained consciousness, he realised that he was not waking up with his friends, but Madam Pomfrey. Clearly Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs had left early, while he was still asleep. He tried not to think much of it. One glance out the window told him that this was the normal time that Madam Pomfrey came, and he had just slept longer than usual.

He sat up, head spinning and aching, and his hip twinging with pain. Madam Pomfrey looked worried. Her brow was furrowed in a way that it never normally did after a moon. The only time he'd ever seen it before was after the moon in fifth year when Sirius had told Snape about him. Remus' stomach sank.

"What's wrong, what's happened? Is everyone ok?" He asked rapidly, jumping to his feet, despite the sear of pain in his legs as he stood up.

Madam Pomfrey shook her head a little bit. "I'm not telling you here. Let's go back to the castle, come on."

Remus obliged, feeling sick as he followed Madam Pomfrey, limping up the hill towards the castle. He wished Sirius was here to lean on.

Once they were back inside the castle, Remus was pale, partially from the pain, partially from the desperation to know what had happened. Madam Pomfrey led Remus into her office and sat him on a chair. She gave him a bottle of potion, which he drank, and then sat down in a chair opposite him.

"Remus. I know this will be... difficult to hear, but-"

"Someone's been attacked. Someone was attacked by a werewolf during the moon, and now, they're like me." Remus said, guessing, as his stomach dropped again.

"Well, not exactly." She said. Remus wished she'd hurry up and tell him what had happened. "Greyback." Remus' heart skipped a beat on the name. "Greyback sought out someone, last night. He attacked her, and she unfortunately did not make it. Remus... your Mother... I'm so sorry. The healers did everything they could..."

Remus' didn't believe it. Surely not. He shook his head, and tears fell down his face. He couldn't say anything. This couldn't be real. Just a bad dream. Hope couldn't be gone. Not like this. 

"Remus... I'm so sorry." Madam Pomfrey said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from her, and she withdrew. 

Still, Remus was in shock. He couldn't speak. He had nothing to say. This was it. His mother was gone. He would never hear her soft voice, comforting him again, he would never breathe in her flowery scent again. He would never dance with her at his wedding, he would never introduce Sirius as his boyfriend, he never even came out to her.

"Your Father has requested you come home. Just for the weekend, for the funeral, you know, but you are very welcome to stay as long as you'd need, and if you choose not to, you don't have to go. It's completely up to you." She said, smiling sadly at him.

Remus was breathing heavily and properly crying now. He wanted to go upstairs and cuddle up with Sirius, but he would be asleep, and anyway, it probably wasn't safe for them to be together. He would not put Sirius at risk of being attacked by Greyback.

Remus nodded, and Madam Pomfrey understood it to mean he was going home. She told him to go upstairs and collect a small bag of things he would need for the weekend, which he did, being as quiet as possible, not waking any of the other boys up. He was caught up in everything, so he didn't think to leave a note, telling them anything. Frankly, he didn't think he could care about anything anymore. Not without his mother. 

Hope had always seemed so... solid. Like she would always be there, supporting him through everything. Remus didn't notice it while it was there, but it now felt like his safety net had gone. He didn't know what to do.

He returned with his bag to the hospital wing, where he saw his father, Lyall, standing in discussion with Madam Pomfrey. He looked dreadful. His usually neat hair was messy, and he had dark bags under his eyes. His cheeks, much like Remus' were damp, and his robes looked too big on him. 

When he saw Remus standing in the doorway, he went up to him, and hugged him. Remus was taken aback. He couldn't remember his father ever hugging him before, but now, it felt natural and necessary. Remus started crying again, now overcome again with the emotion of his father hugging him. He didn't know what he would do. Neither men spoke to each other, they were both too tiered and sad. Remus still wasn't sure anything had fully sunken in. He wasn't sure it would until the funeral, where he would see her. Dead. Lifeless. Never returning to hug him again.

Lyall thanked Madam Pomfrey, and then stepped into the green flames in the fireplace, muttering Remus' home address.

Remus followed, looking at Madam Pomfrey for comfort as he spoke the address. She nodded gently and with that, she was gone.

Remus was flung out of the fireplace into his living room, in the small house in Wales, where he lived with his parents. No. Father. Remus looked around. Nothing had changed since he left, 2 months ago. Lyall nodded awkwardly at him, before he turned and locked himself in his office leaving Remus alone. Remus turned and went to his room, still carrying the small bag of items. He opened the door to find the room exactly as he'd left it. Even the half finished mug of tea was sitting on the windowsill from the night he was packing.

He flung his bag down and sat on his bed, a layer of dust leaving the sheets. The room felt quiet. Remus always liked the quiet. It was then that he decided he hated the quiet. From that moment on, Remus was always choose to be with someone. Even if it meant it was harder to concentrate on his book, or homework, or whatever task he happened to be doing, he would always opt to be with friends, just to escape the suffocating silences that followed moments like these.

The funeral was on Sunday. Tomorrow. It was Saturday morning now. He would go back to Hogwarts during classes on Monday. He would go back to class on Tuesday. 

James was in danger. Pete was in danger. Lily was in danger. Lyall was in danger. Even Dumbledore and his other teachers were in danger. Sirius was in the most danger. Being close with Remus made them targets, he thought. He should break off the relations. He couldn't stop going to school, or stop dorming with them, but he should avoid them, limit interactions, cut them out of his life. As much as it would hurt, he would not put them in danger. Greyback was not getting them.

(1179 words)

Author's note:

So here's Remus' chapter, next chapter they will be re-united. Might take a while as I have quite a lot of stranger things to catch up on. By that I mean I've never watched it before so am now binging all four seasons. That's 10 eps per season, each ep approx 50 mins long. You do the maths. So I'm busy, but I will try.