until the end || wolfstar || marauders

chapter twenty

TW - disordered eating (nothing too bad, just mentions of skipped meals), and it's just a bit of a sad chapter

Remus returned to school on Monday evening, while everyone was at dinner. He deposited his belongings, which were all in a couple of supermarket plastic bags, on his bed, and went to the kitchens, taking the map with him. 

The elves, as always, were happy to serve him a plate of shepard's pie, which he ate quickly, still standing in the middle of the kitchens, before leaving for the astronomy tower. No-one would think to look there for him, he had the map, and anyway, they wouldn't even know he was back yet. 

On the way out of the kitchens, he stopped at the library to pick up a book to read, and continued up the stairs, limping, as he had never got the chance to rest properly after the moon. It felt like years ago that Sirius had been quoting Romeo and Juliet and laughing.

Sirius had been distracted all weekend. Nothing had been done, even though James had sat him down multiple times to try and get through his towering pile of homework. Today had been the first day of classes without Remus, and the effects had really shown. He had been given two detentions for missing homework, and lost nearly thirty house points for lack of focus. James and Peter didn't know how much longer Sirius could cope without Remus.

Sirius was eating slowly again, stirring his fork around his plate, looking bored and not really eating.

"Padfoot, come on. I know it's been rough, because you're so used to having him around, but this is getting a bit silly. I know it's weird and scary, but you've just got to get on with it," James said, before picking up his pumpkin juice and taking a long drink.

Sirius was angry; he had been all weekend, but after years of practice, suppressed it and stayed completely silent, staring intently at the pie.

Marlene leaned over the table from where she was sitting opposite him.

"Sirius, I haven't had time to mention, but yesterday my uncle sent me this new mix tape that they were playing at this muggle club he was at, did you want to play it later in the common room, see what's on it?"

"Maybe another day Marls, I'm busy tonight, I have to catch up on that arithmancy essay." He sighed. He loved playing music in the common room with Marlene, usually Queen or Bowie, and occasionally ABBA, along with some other stuff, and dancing to it with her, but he just wasn't in the mood. 

"Cheer up mate, Remus'll be back soon, then you can stop mourning." Peter said sarcastically. "Knight to E5." He said to the chess board. He was playing with Mary, who had never beat him, but always felt sorry for him when no-one wanted to play with him. Peter smiled smugly at her as his knight took her rooke, and she sighed and rolled her eyes again.

Sirius returned to staring at his food, which was now mushed up, smeared around his plate. He hadn't eaten any of it. He hadn't eaten lunch, and he had barely touched breakfast. 

"Do you want to go and eat upstairs? Just away from here?" James whispered in his ear.

Sirius looked at James, nodded, and stood up. James grabbed some bread rolls and Sirius' plate of pie, and they both walked out of the noisy hall. Sirius became suddenly conscious of people staring, and put his head down, as though not looking at them would mean they couldn't see him. Everyone was far too absorbed in whatever they were doing to notice two sixth years slipping out of the hall.

James opened the door, nearly dropping the plate of bread and cold pie, and they both left to go to the dorms. They weren't meant to have food in the dorms, but no-one really cared, so they didn't worry about hiding the plates once they were done.