until the end || wolfstar || marauders

1st November 1981 part 2

He was standing in the middle of Dumbledore's office.

"Hello Remus."

"How could you let this happen?" Remus burst with rage, so angry he was unaware of everything. How much every part of his body ached. How dirty he was from the explosion. How his cheeks were stained with tears. He had not processed anything that had happened in the last 24 hours.

"Please, take a seat." Dumbledore said, with an air of carelessness that Remus chose to ignore.

"I'm not fucking sitting down. Why did you stand back and let this happen? He's not fucking guilty and you know it! Yet you are standing back and handing him to the fucking dementors, letting them fucking take him without a trial. You are a fucking horrible person." Remus cried, tears flowing down his cheeks again. He was pacing the office, not making eye contact with Dumbledore.

Dumbledore let him finish, then spoke calmly, "Remus, I had no idea the Potters changed their secret keeper to Peter at the last moment, and I certainly never suspected him. As for Sirius, I have no power over what the ministry-"

"Bullshit. You're fully aware that the Minister thinks highly of you. Try him with veritaserum or something. He's not a criminal." Remus retaliated, finally sinking down into the chair opposite the desk.

Dumbledore sighed and rested his hands on the desk.

"Remus, this is hard for all of us. The havoc that this has caused, the secrecy breech," He began, wearily.

"Oh and all you fucking care about is the statute of secrecy! Well I want him back. I want my best friend back, and I want my... I want Sirius back." Remus said, scowling as his eyes welled up again.

"Let me finish, Remus. The Aurors are wiping the memories of the muggles as we speak. Voldermort is gone. Harry is safe. However, I can see to have Sirius tried on veritaserum."

Remus was delighted and panicked at the same time. On one hand, he would get Sirius back. He knew he would, he had seen the whole thing happen, and Sirius had not done a thing. On the other hand, he had completely forgotten about Harry. With his aunt and uncle. Petunia and her husband. Lily's sister and brother in law. Muggles.

"Harry. He can't stay with his aunt and uncle. Sirius is his godfather-"

"Sirius is in prison."

The words stung Remus. It was true, yet he felt awful. Why had he stepped away when that Auror asked him to? If he had refused to move, explain what happened. The stinging began in his chest again, and the room felt as though it had suddenly become short of oxygen. James wasn't here to do the breathing exercises, and Sirius wasn't here to pull him close and tell him it would all be ok. Lily wasn't here to bring him a mug of tea and a chocolate bar and sit and talk to him until the feeling went away. Even Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, weren't here to distract him from it. This knowledge made the feeling a thousand times worse.

Remus stood up.

"Thank you. I'll be off. Owl me the dates of the trial." He mumbled, walking to the door. "Please," He added as an afterthought.

He quickly left the round office, and went down the stairs. He let his legs carry him into Hogsmede, where he disapperated back to his small flat in London.

He was back for the first time since they had been called to the meeting, where they found out what had happened first thing that morning. Now it was getting dark again. The world had been nearly 24 hours without James and Lily Potter.

He took his key out of the pocket of his robes, and put it in the lock.

He stepped inside. It was too quiet. He hung his robes up on the hook near the door and sat down on the sofa. It felt like centuries ago that he had sat on this sofa, Freddie Mercury's voice filling the room, punctuated by laughs, and Sirius' voice singing along to the words he could remember. It had only been yesterday.

Remus finally lost it. Breathing became the biggest challenge, his lungs felt like they had shrunk three sizes, and his vision was disorientating. He was alone. The feeling of dread was overwhelming. He didn't know what he would do if Sirius didn't get released. He didn't think he could cope with being this sad.

He didn't remember what had happened after that, but he remembered waking up on the sofa the next day, with an awful headache, next to a completely empty bottle of firewhiskey. There was an owl sitting looking bored on the windowsill outside. Remus stood up, got his balance, which was proving challenging, and let the owl in. It swooped in and sat on the coffee table, and then stuck out it's leg, which had a neatly folded piece of parchment attached, sealed with the Hogwarts crest, and addressed with a curly scrawl.

Remus,

The ministry are not happy, however have agreed to try Sirius with a strong truth potion. The trial is on the 3rd of November, he is being held in Azkaban until then.

You have been allowed to attend the trial, but you may not speak or try and give testimony.

Best wishes,

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore,

Headmaster of Hogwarts school, member of the Wizengemot, order of merlin, first class.

(the other chapter from later on in the book)