What about New York?

Chapter 19

TRIGGER WARNING: SA

I just giggled as he traced his fingers on my side. "Tell me Miss Jackson, why do you hate New York so much?"

We both were lying naked in the bed. The blanket pulled up just above our hips. It was day three and he was being sweet and caring. Honestly it scared me, I think he might murder me at the end of this trip.

I sighed as I placed my hands under my head. "There's too much trauma, and it'll ruin the mood". I shrugged.

He frowned. "Now come on,"

I closed my eyes. "Seriously Graham, drop it".

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours".

I snorted. "How old are you?"

"26, going on 27"

I peeked open my eye to see him having a boyish grin on his face. I rolled my eye and closed it.

"I'm nervous, what if you look at me differently?"

"I won't, I promise".

I took a deep breath in and let it out. "It stinks"

He stared at me with a blank expression for a long time. A smile spread across my lips. 

"Fuck you." He snorted as he shoved me. 

"Please do." I sat up and looked at him.

"Answer my question for real." He held no emotion in his voice. 

I snorted as I threw the covers off of myself. "Or what? You'll choke me?" I rolled my eyes. 

He didn't say anything. I looked at him as he stared at the ceiling.  "You think that's so fucking funny." he voice was cold. It sent a chill down my spine.

"I-"

"No," He sat up quickly and looked at me. "Shut the fuck up Natalie." He threw off the cover and got out of the bed. "You think that shit is so fucking funny, as if you weren't gonna die1" His voice got louder.

"Graha-"

"I said shut the fuck up!" He yanked his shorts up. He turned to look at me. "Do you.." he paused and took a deep breath. "Do you realize that I had no idea what the situation was when I got down there? That I was terrified shitless when the elevator doors open and I saw his hands around your neck?"

I stayed silent.

He sighed as he looked at me "I legitimately thought I was going to kill him."

He crawled back on the bed and cupped my cheeks in his hands. "I would have killed him...for you. The minute I saw your body go limp, I would of killed him and everyone in that fucking room for you."

"Why?" I whispered. This was the first time he's ever talked to me this way, I was scared.

He scoffed. "Why? Are fucking stupid?" He rolled his eyes. He got up off of the bed and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I choked out

"I can't fucking stand to look at you right now." He didn't even turn around to look at me. He just left.

For the rest of the morning I sat in the same position he left me in. His words playing over and over in my head. I felt numb in a sense...and stupid. I think I felt more stupid than numb right now. 

I got out of the bed and took a long shower, I don't even remember how long I was in there. I just know the once hot water ran freezing cold. I got dressed in just underwear and one of his shirts. I decided to sit in the living room, drink in hand. I just sat in silence as I watched the afternoon light shift to dark, and the dark shift even darker. 

It wasn't until almost midnight when he walked back through the door. 

I didn't turn around to look at him. 

"It's hard for-"

He sighed. "Natalie please, not right now."

"It's hard for me to be in a real relationship-"

"Natalie just forg-"

"You got to fucking speak your peace, now it's my turn so shut the fuck up and sit down." I barely was looking over my shoulder at him now. 

He didn't say anything, just waked around the couch and sat in the chair across from me. I found my hand gripping the glass tighter as my chest got heavy. "Are you drunk?" He tilted his head, he looked tired and annoyed.

"No." A little, but not enough to forget this conversation tomorrow. "I have always loved New York, it was one of my favorite places." I sighed and looked at him. 

"I use to come to New York alot when I was younger. My mother though it would be a nice thing for me to visit my tía, not to mention it gave me quality time with my cousins. So I came to New York, starting at the age of 8. The first summer was pretty good and decent, I quite enjoyed my time here and even fell in love with New York."

I cleared my throat as water welled up in my eyes. "My second summer, not so much." 

"Natalie..."

"You see, my tía got me in the summers, and my momma got them in the winters. I had no idea why considering New York actually gets a winter whereas Oklahoma does not." I snorted. "Um..." I chuckled, I was so fucking nervous. "My cousin started to molest me, it went on for years" I hadnt realized I was crying until he got up and moved in front of me. He sat on the coffee table and wiped at my face. "He would force me to have oral sex with him."

"Natalie...."

I looked at him. "After that, I hated New York."

He was silent for a while. I got up and moved towards the open door. A clap of lightening went across the sky as the wind picked up. It was going to rain. 

"I'm sure you look at me differently."

"Why would I look at you differently?"

I turned around to see he was standing up to face me. 

"Everyone does."

"Then they're fucking stupid." He made his way towards me.

"What?"

"They're fucking stupid. It wasn't your fault, you were a child. He's the sick bastard that needed his ass kicked." He wrapped his arms around me pulling me into him. 

I just chuckled. " I wish everyone had that reaction."

"If they didn't then they obviously don't love you."