A cold inquisitor

The Rise or The Fall?

Everything was.. too quiet. She could only hear the sweep of the broom across the floor, followed with the soft tinks of glass being gathered in every swipe. Varric was uncharacteristically quiet. He was never quiet, but given the circumstances, it would be a shock if even he wasn't left speechless.  She laid back against the few unburnt pillows that were left, looking away at the silent dwarf. Her head ached, as if Bull had himself had punched her in the back of it. Her tired eyes looked down at her hands, bandaged and cleaned up now, folded neatly in her lap. 

She wanted to say something, anything to fill the uncomfortable air. But what was there to say? 

" This is unlike you. You don't even raise your voice, let alone throw temper tantrums."  She turned her head to look back towards the dwarf, hearing him. But his back was turned to her, paying more heed to cleaning up her mess it seemed. She wondered after a second or two if she actually heard it, before he spoke again. " If you were struggling you should have come talked to me. You might have felt better, but I guess if you'd rather smash or burn shit, then who am I to stop you?"  

" And interrupt you whilst you were busy dealing with your own shit?  how boorish of me."  She snapped back, she could feel her head throb a little more and her brows furrowing towards him. Even if he couldn't see her face, he could feel it.  His sweeping stopped, his hands gripping the broom handle slightly tighter. But enough in the silent room she could still hear the wood creak.

 How dare he talk to her like that, speak to her as if this was her fault.. As if everything so far was her fault.. 

He sighed, turning his head to look at her, but as he did she turned away again. If he wished to act like a impertinent ass, than he would be given the courtesy of one.  

" You think asking me to put down my quill for a few minutes is more boorish than having me clean up your mess?"  

He was irritated now. Couldn't he see she was already guilt ridden and reliving the hell she dragged everybody in over and over again? 

" Evelynn, look at me. I can't talk to you if you don't listen!" His voice rose slightly, trying to grab her attention, his whole body turning now while hers moved on its own, curling and turning away from him in her spot on the half-burnt bed. 

" Leave me alone Varric, I don't want to talk to you right now." Her throat hurt, feeling as if she had swallowed a handful of nails. Her eyes felt hot, and as she shut them tight, willing them and failing to keep her lashes dry. 

' Don't you dare!'  

As soon as she scolded herself internally, she heard him drop the broom followed by the quick foot steps and his hand on her arm. She couldn't stop herself, she could practically smell the bandages burning before her right arm swung on its own. A harsh shove, that would send even The Iron bull or Cassandra to the ground, followed with crackling magic in her palm, a threat to ignite at any second. Varric hit the ground, a good two feet back, he had an arm raised to shield himself.. from her.  

" I said leave!"  Her voice despite its protest tore from her throat, lashing out at him with a scorched tongue, sending vocal fire to burn him. The look on her face, she could see it reflected in his eyes.. his beautiful, wide, scared and confused eyes.. 

Reflecting back at her in those blues she could see how angry she looked. Her own seemed to pulse with the fade itself, a bright, horrid green. Her hair fell in clumps and loose strands in her face, but not enough to hide the soaked lashes or the constant on pour of tears. Tears of hatred and anger, dripping off her chin and falling to the floor where the tiny dewdrops left splatters. She looked like a monster, a literal demon in his eyes. 

He didn't know what to say, he searched for a moment, trying to speak but the fear and confusion left him with not one word to speak of.  He got to his feet, dusting himself off. Glad he hadn't been knocked back onto an unswept shard of broken glass.   

" Fine. If you want to stew in your own misery, be my guest!"  

He spoke with anger now, if he had been hurt by her, he didn't let her hear it in his voice, or see it written on his face. She could still tell, what he failed to realize was to hide his hunched up shoulders or unball the fists that became of his rough hands.  She'd done that to him. He wanted to help, he reached forward and she'd thrown that open hand right back and slapped it in his face. 

' I'm destroying everyone.  What is wrong with me, why can't I just stop? Why can't I just-'  

A choked out cry came from her throat, as she pulled herself back into the bed, curling up tighter, as if she was trying to hide away within herself for forever, like her body would absorb into nothing, her damaged hands buried into her chest and her eyes met her knees, shut and soaked.  She wasn't sure how long she'd stayed like that for, but eventually her cries stopped coming out as choked and stifled. Her lashes dried and the world slowly stopped seeming to be. 

Asleep. 

She didn't know how long she'd been asleep for, but when she woke up, everything ached a little less.. the pain in her head was gone, and as she slowly became more aware she unfurled and slowly sat up, opening her tired eyes she could see no light pouring through the singed curtains. It was quiet dark, felt so late.. She dragged herself up, combing her hair back and pulling it up before making her way carefully out of the room, mindful of left over shards and down the stairs. The throne room was empty, but she could see Varric was by his place near the fireplace. She intended to go to him, feeling the pang of guilt throb behind her ribs, but as she stepped closer she saw he wasn't alone. There was another dwarf, but even with its hood pulled up, the voice gave it away it was a woman. Suddenly apprehensive, weary, and curious, she stepped back, listening from behind the corner. 

She couldn't hear the two very well, the fire behind them crackled louder than they spoke, but she could make out bits here and there. Something about the merchants guild, red lirium, smuggling, so far it seemed almost like a report of sorts.. but something was off. They both used what felt like personal tones, the way one would speak to old but dear friends.. something just felt off. Then they heard it. 

" Bianca." 

He didn't have his crossbow with him. They weren't talking about the unique weapon, were they..? 

She peered over the corner, feeling her lips pull themselves into a tight sneer, her hands began to feel warm, and she could faintly smell the burning bandages. The other dwarves hood had fallen back slightly, to reveal a lovely face hidden underneath. Peach skin, blue eyes, rosy cheeks and the sweetest smile on a pair of pink lips. She sounded as if she was chastising him, but there was no real malice.. This was personal. It wasn't just some random report from just anybody. That must have been one of the secrets he kept hidden, she could see who he named his crossbow after.. 

'Shame if something happened to it.' She shook her head, but it wasn't working. Angry as she was, she couldn't shake the thought. She had seen and heard enough. Her heart felt odd, as if there was an ache, something that felt as if it yearned for a soothing and healing touch. But there was something else, and while her heart cried out for comfort, her mind had made itself up. Jealousy had awoken that new voice inside her head, and it grew louder with every step she took back up those stairs. 

' So Varric thinks I'm stupid now, thinks I'm so unaware. That I'll let him get away with this. .. yeah right. We'll see about that. '