A Star And A Stag Is A Weird Combination - Jegulus & Wolfstar

Chapter 17

Sirius wanted to talk to Remus about it, he really did. But what if he scared him away? Was he even gay? There was no shred of a doubt that Sirius Black was queer but Remus Lupin? He had no clue. He left and ran, looking for James. He found him in the library.

"One Black left and the other comes rushing forward" James laughs to himself as he sees Sirius rush in. The smile on his falters slightly at the way Sirius looked panicked and he stands up, glad that he didn't have much to pack up. He shoulders his bag and wraps an arm around Sirius' shoulder, leading him out of the library. He brings him to one of the secret passageways that they had found while creating the map and makes him sit down. James sits down in front of him, their knees bumping just a slight from the size of the passageways. He waits for the boy across from him to calm down and to talk, not wanting to make him speak unless he was ready.

"Remus and I almost kissed." Sirius finally mutters, his head lowered. If the passage didn't echo, there was no way James could have heard him. "What do you mean by almost mate?" he leans forward, making eye contact with him. "We were leaning in and we were so close. We were about to meet lips until Peter suddenly walked in. Remus fell out of the bed and instantly went to help him with his books. I ran when his back was turned." he says, running his hands through his hair in frustration. "Then go back in there and talk to him. Don't just sit here talking to me about it. You both need to talk this out. What if it was a mutual thing? What if he wanted to kiss you too?"

"But what if.."

"Nope, don't wanna hear it, Pads. Talk to him." James says, grabbing ahold of Sirius' hand and basically shaking it. "You're really talking me into this" he groans and stands up, wiping the dirt off his pants. "Lead the way oh brave one," he says in a fun accent, causing James to laugh before pulling him out of the passage and through the hallways to the common room. He gets to the dorms quickly after using all of the shortcuts they had found. He looks at Sirius and gives him a smile before entering the dorm.

"Hey Peter, I need you in the common room," he says and without letting him speak, he goes to his bed and drags him out to let Sirius and Remus talk. Sirius stopped next to the doorway, watching Remus. He was reading his journal. The book he wrote is to rant about Remus in. So he rushed forward and instantly grabbed the book, flushing at the page he was reading. "I have cinnamon eyes?" he looked at Remus and saw a soft smile on his face, just the look made him relax.

"I'm sorry for reading the journal. Peter told me that I should read it after the whole kissing accident. I just wanted to let you know that..."

"I know, we can still be friends. Or not. Whatever you like, Moony. I didn't want to weird you out or anything. You weren't supposed to find out like this. You weren't supposed to find out at all!" Sirius says, clutching the journal to his chest, his knuckles white explaining his tight grip.

"I like you too Sirius," Remus says firmly, slowly taking a step forward. He kept moving forward until he was right in front of him. He sets his hands on his shoulder, pulling him towards him in a hug. "I like your smoky eyes. I like your ebony hair. I like the way you put your hair up with your wand, even though that is clearly a safety hazard." Sirius laughs at that one.

"Why? And I'm asking in the 'I want reasons cause I like reasons' type of way and not the 'I want reasons because how could someone like you date a stupid boy like me' type of way. I want to believe that we deserve one another. And you complete me, as cliche as it sounds. I'd rather have you in my life than not have met you at all."

"And I'd rather live with you next to me than without you at all" Remus responds, grabbing ahold of his hand. He gives him such a sincere smile, a look that made him believe everything that he was saying was the truth. Like words that came directly from his soul, telling him all he needed to know about what he felt.

"What's stopping you from being with me? What made you keep this book a secret in the first place? If you'd told me your feelings sooner, we'd have much fewer problems on our hands." Remus continues, squeezing his hand slightly, urging him to give an answer that he was comfortable with sharing.

Sirius looked up and down nervously, his mind racing with thoughts. He wanted to tell Remus everything, and that he wanted to tell him all this time, but he just couldn't. He wanted him to know everything all at once, but he had no idea how to start the thought, let alone the sentence.

In the end, Sirius didn't say a word. He just looked up at the man before him. The man he loved.

Then, with a wave of passion, Sirius drew in Remus for a kiss, and inside they both melted with a feeling unfamiliar to the both of them. An expression of true love. It was messy of course. Their noses hit one another at a weird angle and their hearts fluttered without relief. Remus hadn't expected it but he pulls Sirius in close anyways, wrapping his arms around his waist.

They pull away after the short moment that had felt like an eternity. Remus, although still slightly shocked, thinks he understands now. "I'm here now, that's what matters."